Announcer: This year everyone's a buzz about one thing... the absence of Mark Rodkin... oh wait, there he is.
Homer: Marge, I'm bored Marge: Why don't you read something? Homer: Because I'm trying to reduce my boredom Marge: Well you could hand out these flyers for the neighborhood rummage sale?...... You get some fresh air and exercise! Homer: Eeeeh, I'll do it anyway. Homer: Good old Evergreen Terrace... the swankiest street in the classiest part of pressboard estates. Apu [singing]: The dream police they live inside of my bed. The dream police they come to me in my head. The dream police they've come to direct me now.. oh noooooooo! Apu: Oh! Howdy neighbor! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion? Homer: Eh... spray the boy Bart: That fancy house will never sell. Nobody who could afford it would wanna live in this neighborhood. Homer: Heeey. Whats wrong with this neighborhood? Big shots! Too good to buy a house here snobby! Bart: Who are you talking to, Homer? Homer: The guy who doesn't live there Marge: Well you don't need this! Homer: Wha..ch.... Marge, thats the rhinestone nights fashion gun! I need it to rhinestone up my old clothing! Marge: Who's Disco Stu? Homer: Oh, I wanted to write Disco Stud but I ran out of space Ned: Well sir, looks like we've got us some nice items at table Glick! Like this.... what the heck-a-roonie is this, Mrs. Glick? Mrs. Glick: It's a Candy Dish, Ned, ninety dollars! Ned: Uh-huh... well I uh.. I guess you could put a lot of nice things in there! Mrs Glick: No! Just candy, Ned. Ninety dollars! Marge: Are you interested in that motorized tie rack Principal Skinner? Skinner: Hmm.. it's awfully loud. Marge: Well... you could always take the motor out, and use it as an ordinary tie rack! Skinner: Hm, but now the ties are motionless. And those at the back are virtually inaccessable. Well... it's a new point that I only have one tie to begin with. I believe I'll pass........................................... Have you sold that tie rack yet? Marge: No Skinner: I'll take it. Guy: Stu! You should buy that! Disco Stu: Hey, Disco Stu doesn't advertise! Homer: Hey everybody! Who thinks Flanders should shut up! Crowd: Yeeeeeeeaaaaah! Homer: Hey... that Ayatola thinks he's better than America... is he right!? Crowd: Booooo; Nooooo. Guy: Yes! Homer: And for the man who has everything... a tie rack motor! Skinner: I'll take that! Homer: Sings "Hey Big Spender" Homer: Sings "Table 5" (to the tune of Stayin' Alive) Disco Stu: Ahe-hem. Disco Stu likes... disco music! Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong bush. Hehehe. Homers Brain: There it is, Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it. Homer: D'oh! George Bush: Y'know, in my day... little boys didn't call their elders by their first names. Bart: Yeah, well... welcome to the 20th Century, George. George Bush: Well lets see now. What do you folks have here, huh? Hmmm.. a "Krusty Burger"... that doesn't sound to appetizing, what kinda stew do you have today? Pimple Kid: Uuuh... we don't have stew.
(Homer honks his horn continuously) Ray: Sir why don't you just have the Cheeseburger? George Bush: That's really more of a weekend thing, Ray. Homer: (still honking) Hey, jerk, move your fany! George Bush: That guy's louder than World War 2, Ray go and see what the rhubarb is will ya? Ray: Sir could you pop your hood?
(loosens some wires making his horn stop working) Mrs. Bush: You know, it's time for him to get up and work on his memoirs. Why don't you go wake him?
(Bart goes upstairs and blows a giant horn) George Bush: Great Scott don't touch that, that's the alpine horn helmet Cole gave me! Bart: Woah man! George Bush: Woah, nothing. I'm gonna do something your daddy should have done a long time ago. (spanks him). Now go home and think about what you've done young man. Homer: He spanked you! You! Bart Simpson!? Bart: I begged him to stop but he said it was for the good of the nation! Abe: Big deal! When I was a pup we got spanked by Presidents 'til the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non - consecutive occasions. Marge: Grampa, I know in your day spanking was common, but Homer and I just don't believe in that kind of punishment! Abe: And that's why your no-good kids are running wild! (points at Lisa, sitting, reading a book). Homer: Hey! Bush! Get down here! Guard: 'Scuse me sir, where you goin? Homer: I'm going to punch George Bush in the face. Guard: Okay is he expecting you? George Bush: Alright mister... you want trouble you're going to get trouble. Homer: Oh I want trouble alright! George Bush: Then you're going to get trouble! Homer: No you're gonna get trouble! George Bush: Well that's good, because I want trouble! Homer: Then we're agreed there'll be trouble! George Bush: Oh yeah lots of trouble! Homer: Trouble it is. George Bush: For you! Homer: For m.... D'oh! Homer: It's time to hit him where he lives! Bart: His house? Homer: Bingo!
