Krusty: Hey! It's respected private citizen Tom Landry! And South American sensation Xoxchisha -- Xoxchoshe -- Xox -- oh, boy. Santa: So tell your folks, "Buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell!" Bart: Buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell! Marge: Bart! Homer: Young man, in this house, we use a little word called "please".
Marge: I'm sorry, honey, but those games cost up to and including $70. And they're violent, and they distract you from your schoolwork. Bart: Those are all good points, but the problem is they don't result in me getting the game. Homer: I know how you feel, Bart. When I was your age, I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world. And my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Marge: Tuck-in time! All aboard the sleepy train to visit Mother Goose. Barty's stop is Snoozyland to rest his sweet caboose. Marge: Well, if loving my kids is lame, then I guess I'm just a big lame. Bart: Mom, it's lame to be proud of being lame. Marge: Well, life is like a box of chocolates Bart: Mom -- no! Mom -- Marge: You never know -- what you're going to get. Bart: I want to buy a copy of Bonestorm. Here's 99 cents. Comic Book Guy: Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction: you
wish to purchase Bonestorm for 99 cents. Net profit to me, negative $59. Oh, oh please, take my $59. I don't want it. It's yours. :Bart reaches: Eh, eh, eh -- it seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm. I shall close the register at this point. Milhouse: Uh, uh, it's only a one player game. Bart: Then how come it says "Second player score"? Milhouse: ....Mom! Bart's swearing! Luigi: Go ahead-a, Bart, take-a the Bonestorm. Mario: The store, she's so rich. She'll-a never notice. Donkey Kong: Duh, it's the company's fault for making you want it so much. Lee Carvallo: Don't do it, son. How's that game going to help your putting? Sonic: Just take it! Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it. Take it! Don Brodka: If i wanted smoke blown up my ass I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose. Don Brodka: I'm calling your parents! Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security. That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting. Uh huh. Yeah, it's a shame, I know, but...well, try and have a merry Christmas. :hangs up: They weren't home, uh huh. But I left a message on their answering machine, that's right. Don Brodka: Hey, kid: one more thing. If you ever set foot in this store again, you'll be spending Christmas in juvenile hall. Capisce?.... Well, do you understand? Bart: Everything except "capisce". Bart: Gotta change than answering machine tape. Oh god, I gotta change that tape! Homer: Gotta change Maggie, dear god we gotta change Maggie! Homer: Hmm, we didn't have a message when we left. How very odd. Machine: Hello, Muddah, hello, Faddah. Here I am at Camp Granada. Homer: Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada? Marge: I don't want Maggie's face hidden behind that pacifier. :Maggie starts to cry: Photographer: Don't worry, momma: I can put a smile on baby's face. OK, sugarplum, it's time to meet Mr. Funny Voice. :breathes air from balloon: Hello, I -- oh, it's just air.
Homer: Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you?! Except at that guy who made sound effects. :Homer makes sound effects and laughs to himself: Where was I? Oh yeah: stay out of my booze.
Homer: I've figured out the boy's punishment. First, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months.
Milhouse: I'm more worried about pirhanas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the pirhanas, and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye, and he goes, "Aah! Aah! Aah!", and that old lady told him it would happen? Bart: Yeah, that was pretty good.
