Homer: Yabba Dabba Doo! Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the! Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! Marge: I think the money should be spent on something the whole town can be proud of.
Homer: Like a giant billboard that says 'no fat chicks!'?
Quimby: We will now hear suggestions for the disbursement of the two million dollars. Lisa: Don't you mean three million dollars? Quimby: [looks around nervously, adjusts his tie] Of course. How silly of me. Burns: Hello my name is Mr. Snrub, and I come from some place far away. Yes, that will do. Anyway I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant. Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks! Apu: I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight this year. As a result, I almost missed work. Wiggum: Cry-baby. Quimby: I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards. Lyle Lanley: You know a town with money is a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No-one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it! Homer: Hehe, mule! Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth Like a genuine, Bona fide, Electrified, Six-car Monorail! What'd I say? Ned Flanders: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What's it called? Patty+Selma: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail! Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud... Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud. Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend. Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs? Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs. Abe: Were you sent here by the devil? Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level. Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can. Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man. I swear it's Springfield's only choice... Throw up your hands and raise your voice! All: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: What's it called? All: Monorail! Lyle Lanley: Once again... All: Monorail! Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken... Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken! All: Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! Homer: Mono... D'oh! Lyle Lanley: Now I'm here to answer any questions you children may have about the monorail. Kid: Can it outrun the flash? Lyle Lanley: You bet. Kid: Can superman outrun the flash? Lyle Lanley: Eh, sure, why not. Homer: Do you want to change your name to Homer, Junior? The kids can call you Ho-Ju! Bart: ............ I'll get back to you. Marge: Homer, there's a family of possums in here. Homer: I call the big one 'bitey' Marge: Mr. Cobb, what can we do!? Cobb: You just better have a damn good conductor! Homer: Oh I locked my keys in there. Get a rock. Marge: We're too late! Cobb: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry. Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you! Homer: Batman? Marge: No, he's a scientist. Homer: Batman's a scientist. Marge: It's not Batman!
