Bart: I was gonna have my classmates over for a homework party, but now my refreshments are ruined. Goodbye college! Moe: It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends. Homer: So what's Stephen Hawking doing here? Hawking: I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Ceasers down the street. Pizza pizza, pizza pizza, pizza pizza, pizza pizza. Sorry that button sticks.
Moe: Who wants ass frosting? Hawking: No thanks, I'm on atkins. Ray: Look at the size of that nacho plate. I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums out in the sun! Homer: Ahahahahahaha! The sun. Homer: Don't worry honey I found us a roofer last night, and you'll never guess where. Marge: Knockers on Route 98 Homer: How did you know! Marge: I'm psychic! Marge: We're gonna visit grampa, then we're gonna take the dog to the v e t. Then take Bart to get c i r c u m c i s e d. Bart: Huh?
Ray: Sorry man I gotta go. It says my kid attempted something. I hate the way these things cut off. Marge: You're not married to Ray. Homer: If I was we'd have taller kids. Old Man: You know it's too bad, we've had that dog as long as I can remember. Abe: What dog? Old Man: Who the hell are you? Abe: I wish I knew. Marge: Ray's not coming! Homer: He is too, his truck's gonna come around the corner right.. now... right now, now, now, now..nnnnnow nnnnnnow! Lisa: Here's the clincher, Ray Magini is an anagram for imaginary. Homer: Wow, my subconcious is a genius. Bart: When you're getting juiced can you hold my turtle. I wanna bring him back to life. Homer: Oh, what did he die of. Bart: I dunno, he was dead when I found him. Dr. Hibbert: Do you see anyone who isn't here? Homer: No, just you Marge and Yogi Bear. Kidding! Dr. Hibbert: Well I see your sense of humour isn't affected. That's a very bad sign. Homer: Real, not real, real, real. Dr. Hibbert: Oh sorry Homer but recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood didn't actually exist.
Dr. Hibbert: Well I'm not worried, you've already agreed not to sue me for anything. Marge: When did I agree to that. Dr. Hibbert: You did when I validated your parking. Marge: You didn't validate my parking. Dr. Hibbert: Check and mate.
Hawking: I've been tracking a tear in the fabric of space time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders Barn to create a miniature black hole. This anomaly interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer. Lisa: That seems... feasible. Marge: Wait there's still one thing that doesn't make sense. Why did you start fixing our roof and then just disappear. Ray: That's easy, I'm a contractor. Marge: That's right you're all crooks!
Ray: So as I was saying Homer. Mondays 9:00 CBS. They say everybody loves that guy but I don't get it. Homer: What are you talking about? Ray: I'm just saying, catch it while you still can. Homer: What time's this show on? Ray: Monday 9:00 CBS Homer: And what's the network? Ray: CBS Homer: At what time? Ray: 9:00 Homer: And if I wanna watch it what day? Ray: Monday. Monday 9:00 Homer: And this is on the radio? Ray: No it's television Mondays at 9 on CBS Homer: And if I wanna see it what time should I watch it? Ray: 9:00 Homer: On what channel? Ray: CBS. Homer: What day? Ray: Monday. Homer: On the radio? Ray: Television. Homer: Turn the television to what channel? Ray: CBS Homer: At what time? Ray: 9:00 on Monday. Homer: Now If I wanted to see it on a certain day what would be the best day to see it? Ray: It's only on a Monday. Homer: And what time would be a good time.. Ray: 9:00, from 9 to 9:30. Homer: So If I turn my radio on at 9:00? Ray: Not the radio, television. Homer: So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC? Ray: CBS. Homer: CBS. Ray: 9:00 Homer: On the radio? Ray: Television. Homer: Television at 3:00. Hawking: And we're done.
