Lisa:Why did you wake me up!? I dreamt I was at the Kennedy Center honors. Marge: Well, here's another low rated annual event. Spring cleaning!
Marge:You've gotta get rid of those Furbies, they've turned feral! Marge:I can't believe you talked me into this! Homer: Uh it's such a mess. Ooh! Watch the teeth! Marge: Don't go telling your buddies at work about this. Bart: Every tape is pumpkin carving! Larry: Balki! You're dancing in the toilet! Balki: What, you've never heard of flushdance? Announcer: Perfect Strangers will return after these commercials. Song:He's the baby who's mouth smells like death; Run for your life it's Baby Stink Breath! Lisa: Hahaha! You're baby stink breath, you're baby stink breath! Au Francais. Vous etes bebe stink breath! Maggie: La la la la laaa la! Marge: Honey, you did have a great time doing those commercials, and you made a lot of money! Bart: I did!? Where is it? Marge: Your father invested it in a college trust fund, which today must be worth a f.. Homer: Lalalalala! Marge: ..Of course, the stockmarket's been down lately, but there must be some sort of.. Homer: LALALALALA Nothing left Lalala.. Bart: Promise me you wont tell anyone about it. Milhouse: I wont. But these things have a way of getting out. Nelson: Haha! Baby stink breath! Milhouse:When my mom wants to get back at my dad, she uses her lawyer. Bart: Does it make him cry? Milhouse: More than normal. Kirk: Uh, hey son.. :sobs: I've got tickets for the circus :cries: Bart: I want a divorce from my parents! Lawyer: You-aaaaaare! Bart: I said I wanted a divorce from my parents! Lawyer: Yes, I heard you I was just calling my secretary. Lawyer:I am here to serve you with a sapina. Homer: Well I'm not opening the door. Lawyer: It comes with a side of bacon. Homer: Is it crispy? Lawyer: Yeeees. Homer: But not too crispy? Lawyer: Nooo. Homer: Emancipated? Don't you like being a dude!? Lawyer:Your son alleges you have an anger management problem. Homer: Why you little! Uh.. i'm sorry judge, that's a rare lapse in my normally calm demeaner. Judge Harm: Will the sternographer please read back the previous statement.. Sternographer: Why you little.. Homer: Why you little! Bart: :laughs: Homer: Why you little! Judge Harm:Bart Simpson, I declare you emancipated. Further, I hereby garnish Homer's wages until Bart is fully repaid. Homer: Mmmm.. Garnish. Lisa: I'm gonna miss you. Bart: Here's something to remember me by. Lisa: Ow! Indian burn! Bart: Look at it... Lisa: Oooh. That's so sweet. Bart: If i did it right, it's permanent. Marge: I'll miss you so much. :kisses Bart: Cab Driver: Either give me some of that, or lets get going. Guy: Be quiet in there! Some of us are trying to sell drugs! Bart:Being a free man is great, Milhouse. I get to draw on myself with a magic marker. Milhouse: Wow, I wish I was a free man. Mom! Where's Puppy Goo Goo? Oh Puppy Goo Goo, fetch me a dream! Bart: Oh! I'm gonna die in my jammies. Tony Hawk: Hey! Blink 182! Mark: We have names you know! Tony Hawk: Whatever.. you can crank it up! Tom: Dude, lets trash this place. Travis: After we get paid. Tom: Niiice. Homer: Of all the sites on all the web.. I had to click onto his! Homer: For the past week I've been carrying around this bag of sugar. It's taught me how to love and care for a child!
-scene continues with sugar being Cletus's child-
Bart: Thanks for the lift, Tony Hawk! I gotta go now, Tony Hawk. Cool guy, Tony Hawk. Milhouse: Bart! You know Tony Hawk! Bart: Please, I'm trying to keep it quiet. :shouts: Catch you later Tony Hawk! Tony: Stay cool, Brat!
Marge: Here's five dollars, buy yourself a suit and get busy. Guy: I'll buy your suit... OF DRUGS! Lisa: The travelling festival of rock and roll, skateboarding, and extreme sports? Bart: And nipple piercing! Marge: :screams like Homer: Bart: Don't worry, they're clip-ons!
Martin:Behold the delightful unicorn I got at the face-painting pavillion. Jimbo: Dude, that was a tattoo parlour. Martin: :faints, while the bullies beat him up anyway:
Homer:Mr. Hawk, may I have a word with you? Tony: An extreme word? Homer: Sure. MY SON IS BART SIMPSON AND.. Tony: I didn't say extreme to the max!
Tony:I'm a father myself. One day they're little shredders, the next day they're grinding and gnashing their way to college. Homer: Yeah, I make up words too.
Tony: This board represents the ultimate in poser technology. It gives people the illusion they have talent. Just lock your feet in and the board does all the work. Homer:all the work? Tony: Fine, I'll lift you onto the board too. Homer: Do it without the attitude or don't do it at all.
Marge: I can't count how many times your father's done something crazy like this. Lisa: It's 300, mom. Marge: I could have sworn it was 302.
Woman: I represent viagragain. The topical rub for bald, impotent men. Homer: Well, I am bald and important, where do I sign?
Kathy: Oh Steve, you're everything a girl could want. What's your secret? Homer: Well Kathy, I'll tell you. It's Viagra-Gain. It gives you lots of hair and what you need down there. What are you waiting for, loser? Announcer: Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis.
