Marge: Alright, family. Who can guess what's different about dinner tonight? Homer: Eh? Same old garbage! Bart: Ahahahaha, this guy's always on! Marge: We're eating genetically modified vegetables! Look how big they are! Homer: This corn doesn't look so big.. Marge: That's baby corn! Homer: :stunned: Mwhaaaat!? Marge: Go away go away
-Ned Flanders and his boys are kneeling down in front of Marge's cross base for her scarecrow, saying prayers. She tells them to go away but they return seconds later- Marge: Yeah, I did it! Marge is in the house. Well I will be soon, cuz it needs some cleaning! Moe: Right, get them out of here, this aint no crow bar! This.. is a crow bar :places a painting on the bench: See, they got the little stools and.. everything. Homer: It's a murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder. Homer: Ow! I hate getting stitches in my eyes! Dr. Hibbert: They weren't trying to blind you they were just trying to drink your sweet sweet eye juices. Homer: Hmm, fascinating. Marge: It's smoke! Lisa: It smells like the art teachers office... Marge: Hello.. Homer: Marge, I just realized I'm the "ow" in the word low. And if you tell anyone.. Marge: Honey I like it when you call but we just talked five minutes ago, hang on I've got call waiting... Hello? Homer: Hey, it's me. I've got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming me out. Bart: Dad, I thought you didn't like her saxophone. Homer: I didn't but now daddy's special medicine, which you must never use because it will ruin your life, lets daddy hear and see magical things which you will never experience, EVER! Homer: Wow, that Saxophone would make a great pipe. Ned: Hi-diddly hey Homer. Homer: Oh my god this dude does the best Flanders! You got the moustache, and the diddly. Okay, now do Wiggum. Ned: Heheh, Homer it's me, Ned. Homer: Hey, I've got a question for you. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it. Ned: Well sure of course, he could, but then again... wow as melon scratchers go, that's a honey doodle. Homer: Now you know what I've been going through.
Homer: Wow.... wow... God does so much for me and he doesn't ask for anything in return. Ned: Well I know he's wishing you'd sign this petition. To recriminalize medicinal marijuana. Homer: Done and done. Now do Wiggum! Ned: Well, okay I guess it would go something like this.... :puts on identical Wiggum voice: A'ight Simpson, you're under arrest, see... Homer: :unimpressed: I said Wiggum!
Homer:Oops, I thought this was the can, man. Hahahahahahah. Mr. Burns: Well, you're a happy Homer. What's your name, young man? Homer: You just said it! Ahahahahahahahahaha.. Mr. Burns: Hehehe, well if you like that, listen to this. Working hard, or hardly working? Homer: Ahahahahahahahaheheh!
Homer: You're covered with a very fine fuzz.
Homer: Heheheheh hardly working. Marge: Where did you get that suit? Homer: Woah woah one question at a time. Yes, you?
Homer: I just got promoted and it's all thanks to yes-I-cannibus. :gasp: WE HAVE A KITCHEN!?
Otto: Hey, Shemp is "hemp" spelled backwards! Homer: And Otto is..... Otto backwards! Otto: Now I'm scared!
Marge: Goodnight Homer. Otto: Dude, your mom is hot!
Phish: Woah, this guy is seriously ill.. Hans Moleman: My doctor never told me that... I had to hear it from Phish.
Phish:And now a man who's a real pothead (read poetheed) I'm sorry.. pot head... Homer Simpson!
Otto: Well what are we gonna do? Homer: Well we can't just stand here staring at our hands... Although... wow! Otto: Oh, that's right. I married that chick.
-hours pass- Otto: They call them fingers but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go. Homer: Oh, I could have smoked that pot... and worn that hair!
Lisa:I want my old dad back, the one that was yelling all the time and... you know, I'm not really sure what I want.
Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, could you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house? Homer: NEVER!
Otto: Yeah, I can still crash here, right? Homer: Get out. Otto: Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing? Homer: Oh yeah.. ehehehe... Get out.
Lenny: We were gonna have an intervention. Carl: But at the planning party, I got alcohol poisoning. Heh, I nearly died. Moe: I was already makign excuses not to go to your funeral.
Homer:It's been three days and my mind is clearer, my sperm count is up, and I'm able to recognize simple shapes and patterns. Lisa: Dad, you just said that three minutes ago.
Marge:You don't need Mary Jane to laugh at Mr. Burns' jokes. Just picture him naked. Homer: AAH! AAH! AAH! Marge: Or ummmm with a funny hat on! Homer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
