Stroke Guy: Excuse me, my refrigeration unit is broken. Could you possibly eat some free ice cream? Bart: What flavour? Stroke Guy: Why super-chocolate of course.Oh yeeesss! Bart: Mom, a dog ate my clothes. Marge: Nice try, but we're still going to Riverdance!
Lisa: You know that new baby brother Ralph's been bragging about? It's just a pinecone! Homer: Eh, I'm sick of this tarzan movie. Lisa: Dad, it's a documentary on the homeless. Homer: Oh, right. Milhouse: Anyone wanna be my new best friend? Ralph: I will! Milhouse: Great. Finally I'll be the dominant one. Ralph: Be quiet! Milhouse: Yes sir. Marge: Hurry up Bart, or you'll be late to be killed by the dog. Bart: What? Marge: I said you'll be late for school. Bart: Eat my short stories. Bart: Ah, safe at last. Now I'll just turn around and confirm that safety... Buck: Hold onto your hat, son, you're talking to Buck McCoy! Bart: Who? Buck: Eheheh.. yeeeeah that's right, Buck McCoy, the most famous movie cowboy in the world. Bart: No kidding. Buck: I'll show you a trick that you can use on dogs. Also worked on David O'Sellsnick. Bart: Who? Buck: Eheheh.. yeeeeah, that's right, the David O'Sellsnick. Buck: Frank the Wonderhorse was in 24 of my pictures. :horse stamps ground: and directed one. Bart: Buck McCoy helped me. Abe: Buck McCoy!? He was the greatest of them all. He was bigger than opium! Lisa: I met one of my heroes today, she started the.. Abe: Buuuuuuuuck McCoy! I still carry this. Junior Buckaroo, second class. Little Grampa Simpson. Bart: What's this lunchbox made of? Buck: Well, back in my day we had a thing called metal. Everything was made of it. Lunchboxes, cars, you name it. Bart: Me-tal Bart: Everything tastes better when it's lasso'ed. Milhouse: Would you lasso me a banana? Buck: Now how the hell would I do that?
Marge: Aww, Homie, you'll always be my western hero. Homer: Swell.
Abe: Don't listen to them, Buck. It's an ambush. They're trying to jump your claim. Marge: Take him outside! Abe: I love you Buuuuuuuuuck.
Lisa: Gee, Buck, your old films are as violent as todays. Homer: One of the wheels broke off my chair today. But I didn't make a movie about it.
Bart: I was thinkin' this could be a new fad. Martin: What about Hawaiian shirts! Milhouse: Hey, you're not fun, you're fat!
Kent: This is Kent Brockman here at Springfield Elementary, where a new Western craze is sweeping the campus. Lisa: I'm Annie Oakley. Nelson: I'm Kevin Costner in one of his Western roles. Ralph: I'm a gultch. Kent: So I guess you could say, this barely qualifies as news.
Apu: Oh give me land, lots of land under starry skies above. Kids: Don't fence me in. Apu: Sir you cannot pee, unless you are an employee.. Homer: Can't keep it in.
Buck: Now listen missy, the last two city slickers who used reverse psychology on me are pushing up dasies. Bart: They're dead? Buck: No, they've just got lousy jobs.
Bart: Boy, that's some fancy shooting. Homer: I've seen fancier.
Krusty: You'll do fine. Just remember, there'll be millions of people watching you. :Buck sips whiskey: Millllions! :sips more: and TV Guide's 'Cheers And Jeers' editor. And he's already given out all his Cheers. :drinks some more:
Krusty: We've got such a great show tonight. I wont be doing a monologue because my feet hurt. And now, our opening sketch. Bart: He's drunk! Homer: I've seen drunker.
Homer: Bart, I couldn't help noticing Buck is a total fraud. So I took the liberty of creating a new hero for your wall. Bart: That is just grotesque.
Buck: I'm sorry to let your son down, but I'm too old to change. Homer: Oh, listen to you, "ooh.. ooh... I'm too old to chaaange. :cries:" How old are you? Buck: Seventy six. Homer: Nice old man.. don't.. break a hip!
Drunk Man: I was drinkin so much I forgot what life was about. Gold! Beautiful gold! Nuggets as big as your fists!
Buck: Look, I've worked long and hard, got rich, and now I'm retired. Why shouldn't I be able to drink all I want? Marge: Well, I dunno. I just naturally assumed it was some of my business. Buck: Well I don't see how it is, nobody's even told me your name.
Wiggum: Uh, please, everyone, stay away. We don't want anyone to be a hero.. a hero... A HERO! Homer: :picks up phone: Get me Buck McCoy! Lisa: Dad, I'm on the line.
