Bart: :doorbell rings: It's Milhouse... :doorbell rings several more times: and he has big news! Lisa: I'll get us out of this. Say dad, wanna go see my project for the school science fair? Homer: No Lisa... but I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast! Lisa: If you misuse language, he'll correct you! Homer: Well, lets put him to the test! Me love beer! Linguo:I love beer! Homer: Hey! He loves beer! Here little fellah! Linguo: ERROR! Homer: I'm sorry, I thought he was a party robot. Homer: Ooh! Can I have a brownie? Marge: They're for after dinner! Homer: Ooh! Can I have dinner!? Marge: You can't have a brownie. Period! Homer: AAAAAGHH! My thumb! Oh god, Oh god, Oh god!
Marge: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Homer: Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge! Chief Wiggum: 911, this better be good! Marge: I cut off my husbands thumb! Chief Wiggum: Attempted murder!? You'll burn for this! Burn in jail! Marge: It was an accident! Chief Wiggum: Yeah, yeah. Save it for Dateline, Tuesday. What's your address, so I can come and arrest you. Marge: Arrest me? My address! It's uum.... 1..2...3.... Fake Street! Chief Wiggum: 123 Fake Street. Got it. Ned Flanders: And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft! Marge: We've gotta get to the hospital, Homer! Homer: Okay. If the doctor asks why you cut it off, you caught me in bed with four beautiful women! Dr. Hibbert: I'm sorry, Homer. Your HMO doesn't cover this type of injury. Homer: But I have finger insurance! Dr. Hibbert: A thumb is not a finger! Cletus: You and me share a common infirmity. If anyone tells you a Hog wont eat a finger.. dey's lying. Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country! Homer: :gasp: Linguo..... dead!? Linguo: Lingo...... is......... deeeeeeeeeaaaaaad. Lisa: Hang on, Linguo. You'll be up and congegating in no time. Homer: AAAAAGHH! My thumb! Lisa: Quiet please! Some of us are trying to weld!
Chief Wiggum: Hey, Teeny.. you know where 123 Fake Street is? Mr. Teeny: "I don't know what you are saying" Chief Wiggum: Ah, it's okay. Hey we've got the same hat!
Lisa: WEST Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!
-Students in the class laugh, teacher tells them to laugh in French-
Chief Wiggum: We're trying to get the goods on some smugglers. Fat Tony: Why, I'd be delighted to sell you some illegally smuggled goods. Lisa: That sounds like Fat Tony. Chief Wiggum: Only one way to be sure. Fat Tony, is that you? Fat Tony? Legs: Hey.. where's that voice coming from? Louie: This guy's wearing a wire! Fat Tony: Take him out :gunshot sounds: Chief Wiggum: My bad! Can't work my answering machine either. Heh.
Homer: Abraca-thumbra! Cletus: Haha! Dang. You could be one of dem TV magic queers!
Krusty Alarm Clock: Hey hey! Hey hey! Hey hey! Lazy eh? Go get him, boys! :Itchy & Scratchy are released:
Bart: What's is like riding a girls bike? Milhouse: It's disturbingly comfortable...
Bart: Woah. How'd you find it? Milhouse: This is where I come to cry...
Dr. Nick: Don't worry. It's inflammable. :bursts into fire: Let's keep this our little secret...
Chief Wiggum: Here we are, 123 Fake Street. The home of knifey wifey! Lou: Hey Chief, can I hold my gun sideways? It looks so cool. Chief Wiggum: Haha sure. Whatever you want, birthday boy.
Chief Wiggum: Okay drop the knife, Stabbitha! Great Grucci's Ghost! We've uncovered a hardcore cracker house! Lou: There's enough chinese sky candy here to put you boys away for a long time. Milhouse: I can't go to Duty. They use guys like me as currency. Chief Wiggum: Yeah they'll pass you around like..... uh, like currency, like you said.
Chief Wiggum: Your mission is to find the firework smugglers and get them to say something incriminating on this tape.. Bart: Hootie and the Blowfish? Chief Wiggum: Yeah.... It's cheaper than blank tape.
Louie: They's throwing robots! Linguo: They are throwing robots. Legs: He's disrespecting us. Shuttupa you face! Linguo: Shut up your face! Legs: Wassamatta you? Louie: You aint so big. Legs: Me and him are gonna whack you in the Labonza! Linguo: Bad... grammar... overload. Error! Error! Homer: What the hell!? :gasp: Linguo..... dead!?
Marge: Boy, this sure was one crazy day. Right Mr. Teeny!? Mr Teeny: "This plot made no sense! Tell the people!"
