Homer: How about that one!? Computer Salesman: Mmhmm... The technology is three months old. Only suckers buy out of date machines. You're not a sucker, are you sir? Homer: Heavens, no! Computer Salesman: Oh good, because if you were I'd have to ask you to leave the store.
Homer: OW! Argh. Ooh. Stupid pothole! Don't worry head, the computer will do our thinking now! Homer: Now then... computer.. kill Flanders! Ned: Did I hear my name? My ears are burning! Homer: :whispering to mouse: That's a good start, now finish the job! Ned: Oh, you're busy. Catch you later, compu-tator! Homer: Oh, five thousand dollars for a computer and it can't even handle a simple assignment! Chief Wiggum: You have chosen 'no', meaning you have committed a crime, but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home. While you wait, why not buy a police cap or t-shirt? You have the right to remain fabulous! Homer: Get out, who told you that? Bart: Nelson! Homer: Hmm, that's the kind of dirt that belongs on my web page. Lisa: You can't post that on the internet, you don't even know if it's true! Homer: Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey. Nelson is gold! Bart: You know, it might have been Jimbo.. Homer: Beautiful, we have confirmation. Agnes: Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies? Seymour: No, mother! Agnes: You sissy! Kent Brockman: A new internet watchdog is creating a stir in Springfield. Mr. X, if that is his real name, has come up with a sensational scoop. Homer: Darn tootin' Kent Brockman: But we must never forget that the real news is on local TV, delivered by real officially lisenced newsmen like me, Kent Brockman. Coming up, how DO they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials? Cowboy Steve will tell you! Guy: This morning Mr. X reported that your own apartment.. Chief Wiggum: I know, I know, but I assure you, the police do not take prisoners out of their cells and raise them... any more? Guy: What about using the electric chair to cook chicken? Chief Wiggum: Yeah, alright, this press conference is over. It's over, Phil! It's OVER! Carl: I wish Mr. X were here! Homer: Oh, I don't know Carl, he might be closer than you think! Carl: Are you him? Are you Mr. X? Homer: No! Carl: Ah, but you talked in that real sly voice. Hey, hey, everybody! Homer is Mr. X! Homer: I am not! Or am I? Lenny: Are you? Homer: No! Moe: If Mr. X were here right now, I'd buy him a tall frosty! Homer: Hey Moe, can you keep a secret? Moe: No. Homer: Not even a little one? Moe: No. Homer: What if I just whisper it? Moe: No, I tells ya! Homer: :singing: I've been sitting on the toilet, all the live long day! Flanders: They're controlling our mind with flu shots, I knew it. Well kids, now are you glad we don't believe in inoculations? Rod/Todd: :shivering: Y..yaay. Number 6: Welcome friend, I'm number 6. Number 15: I'm number 15. What number are you? Homer: I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you eve... oh wait, I'm number 5. Haha. In your face, number 6! Number 6: Myeees... Well done. Leader: As far as your family know, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door right about now. Homer: I'm sorry, what?
-clip cuts to the Simpson house, 'Homer' walks in the door- Marge: Homey! Fake Homer: Marge, honey flarline, I'm home! Marge: You're not my husband! Fake Homer: Ya, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaraunt then have a night of efficient German sex. Bart: There's something very different about you dad! Fake Homer: I am a new tie wearing! Bart: Oh yeah. Homer: Huh! That was easy! Island Leader: Why did you think a big balloon would stop people? Lady: Shut up! That's why!
