Homer: :discussing british tv: If they're not having a go with the bird, they're having a row with a wanker.
Bart: Cheeky. PBS Guy: Not hard to see why it's Englands longest running series, and today, we're showing all seven episodes. Betty White: If you like great PBS programs like "Do Shut Up" and "Shut Your Gob" you'll want to support our pledge drive. If you watch even one second of PBS and don't contribute, you're a theif, a common theif! PBS Guy: Okay, take it easy, Betty. Betty: Sorry, but these theives make me so mad. You know who you are.... thieves! Homer: You're mad, where's my show!? PBS Guy: And now it's time to go back to "Do Shut Up". Homer: Finally.. PBS Guy: But first! Homer: Ooow! PBS Guy: With your donation you'll receive this classic PBS tote bag. Betty: Or this umbrella, featuring a picture of our classic tote bag. PBS Guy: And the next 20 callers will get this album of Museum noises! Homer: Will cash be okay? Betty: Absolutely. Homer: Well then, we've got a problem. The banks are closed by now. Betty: It's 12:15. Homer: Maybe your movie star banks are opened crazy hours, but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast, and our banks closed....... okay, fine, we'll go down there, but they're not going to be opened!
-people are walking in and out of the bank, Homer peers through the window- Homer: Yeah, it's a real ghost town in there. Guy: Ahahah... get in there! Oscar The Grouch: Give us the money! Elmo: Elmo knows where you live! Homer: I'm no missionary, I don't even believe in Jeebus! Let me out! Guy: Sorry! No can do! Homer: Oh! Save me Jeebus! Bart: He's dead, isn't he? Rev. Lovejoy: No, no, you can even keep in touch with him on this ham radio!
Homer: Jeebus!? Where are you? Homer to Jeebus? Homer: You're leaving! Wait! What do I do here! Amy: First of all, forget everything you learned in Missionary school. Homer: Done. Ak: We look forward to learning about the bible from you. Homer: Here you go, knock yourself out. Q'Toktok: We cannot read.. Homer: Ugh. Does the word "jet lag" mean anything to you people? JET... LAG! Homer: :hears rumbling: What was that? Q'Toktok: We call that.. bleukuckukukukugugog. Sorry, fish bone in my throat. We call that "Earthquake" Homer: So.. what do you do for fun around here? Q'Toktok: Craig and Amy were digging a well. Ak: Craig and Amy were also building a Chapel. Homer: Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy! Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy. Q'Toktok: I told you we should have asked them! Homer: So, how's the TV reception here, excellent, or? Q'Toktok: T....V? Homer: You don't have TV? But what will I watch when I'm sitting on the couch? Ak: Cou-ch? Homer: No couches either? Oh man, I need a beer! Q'Toktok: :gives Ak a confused look: Homer: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! Natives: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! Marge: Homer, are you alright? Homer: I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough. Marge: You've only been gone two days! Homer: Really? Without TV it's hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.
Homer: Now, if The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that Pelicans can be used to mix cement. Come on little friend, make a wise crack! You know... "it's a living!" that sort of thing! :pelican falls over: Oopsie.
Homer: Friends, when I came here one month ago.. this seemed like a strange and frightening place. But now I've learned to love this island as my second... A PLANE! STOP! GET ME OFF THIS STINKING ROCK!
Q'Toktok: Your alcohol and inexpensive buffets have corrupted us. I don't even like macaroni salad... but look at me! :eats and eats and eats:
Q'Toktok: How many times must we go to church to avoid hell? Ak: Every Sunday for the rest of our lives. Q'Toktok: Ahehehehe. No, really.
