Marge: I can't get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you try ... Homer: Oh, I'm twenty-six hours late for work -- no time for Maggie. Ooh, Where's Waldo? No, no -- this would be a lot easier without all these people. Nope, no [gasps] It's him! No. Marge: Homer! Homer: Waldo, where are you? Wiggum: All right, smart guy, where's the fire? Homer: Over there. Wiggum: Okay, you just bought yourself a 317: Pointing out police stupidity. Or is that a 314? No, no, 314 is a dog, uh, in, no, is that a 315? You're in trouble, pal. Homer: Oh this is the worst day ever. Lenny: Hey Homer, what gives? Homer: Mr. Burns is making me eat all these drums of toxic waste! Carl: Geez, that's rough. There must be 2 to 300 gallons in here. Lenny: And even a teaspoon could cause a fatal tumor. Homer: The coolant tank just blew and they're taking Lenny to the hospital. Marge: Oh, no, not Lenny -- not Lenny! Homer: Yes, I'm going to have to work late instead of seeing you and the kids, which is what I really want. Marge: Okay, sure. Kids, turn off the TV. I have some bad news about Lenny. Bart/Lisa: Not Lenny! Lenny: Check out the overhead scoreboard!
:scoreboard reads 'POO' and 'ASS' instead of Lenny and Carl: Carl: :laughs: Poo! Uh, Homer. What wacky name do you want? Homer: Are 'poo' and 'ass' taken? Carl: Yeah. Homer: Damn, could my life get any worse? Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row. You've got a perfect game going. Homer: Really? Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny; you'll jinx him. Lenny: Oh, right, sorry.
Miss! Miss! Sorry, I was calling the waitress. [to waitress] Ah, this split you sold me is making me choke. Homer: Lenny! Lenny: What? I paid 7.10 for this split. Lisa: Hey! There was no accident at the plant. Dad just
wanted to go bowling. Marge: He shouldn't have deceived me, but I'm just so
relieved Lenny's okay. Homer: Thankyou! Thankyou! But there was someone else with me on that alley. I'm talking about the big man!.... Carl! Homer: Any questions? Yes, Bart's weird friend. Milhouse: Will you be my Dad? Homer: You've got a father. He's just a dud. Next question. Yes, the girl Bart has a crush on. Bart: Ohhh. Homer: Hey, I thought you never talked. Teller: Uh, I didn't mean to. It just slipped out. Oh, God, now Penn's going to beat me. Penn: Folks, it's all part of the act! Teller: No it isn't! Don't leave me alone with him! Penn: You've ruined the act! I'm going to kill you! Teller: He'll do it! I'm not the first Teller. Homer: I can't believe it, Moe. The greatest feat of my life is already forgotten. Moe: Geez, Homer, I never seen you so depressed. As your life partner, I'm very worried. Homer: Save your tears, Moe. Save 'em in a shot glass for someone who still has a shred of hope. Moe: A shred of what? I'm sorry, I was counting the cocktail radishes. Now, where was I? Two ... three, three radishes. Three big radishes. Hans Moleman: There is no escape from the fortress of the moles! Oh except that. Ron Howard: Really? You have children? Aw, well look, here's some money. Homer: No. I don't want your pity or your money. Ron Howard: Usually when you say that, you give the money back. Homer: I do what, now? Ron Howard: Yoink! Hibbert: Although you do seem to have swallowed a number of shark eggs. Homer: Actually, that was before I went in the ocean. Hibbert: Well, I don't want to pry into your personal life.. Homer: Then don't.
