Skinner: Now, I'd like to ask each child to pair up with a buddy so no one gets lost. Bart: Come to think of it I haven't seen Uter since the last field trip. Skinner: Uter. I don't remember any Uter. Silly name, Uter.
Homer: [voice on cassette, singing]
I work hard for the money
So hard for the money
Oh, I something, something money,
Come on give me lots of honey Burns: Well, there's an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips and a song in his heart. Promote him.
[ Homer swears at a motorist, Lisa informs Homer that it's an Ambulance. He continues swearing ] Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead? Gil: Nah, please you gotta help ol' Gil, whats it gotta take to keep you on the phone? Dance for you? But you wouldn't even see it.. y..alright I'm dancing. Nelson: Your old man has an awesome nose. Bart: Oh, that's nothing. He can hear pudding. Editor: I wouldn't want to be married to her. I mean, again. Homer: Oh, I like food alright ...:singing:
I like pizza, I like bagels,
I like hot gods with mustard and beer Editor: I get the picture Homer: :continues singing:
I'll eat eggplant,
I could even eat a baby deer
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Who's that baby deer on the lawn there? Editor: Enough already! Homer: Sorry. Editor: I just had a thought. We're looking for a new food critic. Someone who doesn't immediately poo-poo everything he eats. Homer: No, it usually takes a few hours. Homer: Well, what do you think? Editor: This is a joke, right? I mean this is the stupidest thing I've ever read! Homer: What's wrong with it? Editor: You keep using words like "Pasghetti" and "Momatoes" You make numerous threatening references to the UN and at the end you repeat the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again. Homer: Really, the only word to describe it is :drools: Lisa: Hmm. What's the English equivalent for :drools: I'd say ... transcendent. Homer: How about groin-grabbingly transcendent? Lisa: Uh ... I don't think so. Homer: Stop the presses!
[Man hits stop button] Homer: OK, Start the presses. Editor: That takes four hours. Homer: Whatever, I'll be at Moe's. Homer: They're paying me to eat! Bart: Yeah, now if you could get someone to pay you for scratching your butt we'd be on easy street. [ Homer rips the script of 'The Cable Guy because it almost ruined Jim Carrey's career ]
Editor: Hey Homer, c'mere. Homer: Oh ... are you going to fire my for swiping office
supplies? Editor: No. Krusty: [as King Lear] What is this Merry Old England or Petticoat Junction? :audience boo's: Hey, lighten up, it's a comedy! Actor: :whispers: No it's not Krusty: It's not?! [ Homer calls Luigi's lasagne dish a pile of puke. The cook, Salvetore, chops off part of his ear ] Homer: The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word? Maggie: :sucks: Homer: Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here! Santa's Little Helper: Ruff! Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night. Santa's Little Helper: Chewy? Homer: Chewy! That's inspired! Editor: Homer what gives with this review? You say the salad tastes like bark and the potatoes were very grrrrrrr. This reads like it was written by a dog. Homer: Are you crazy? A dog can't type. Unfortunately. Luigi: Homer, he's out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review! True Story. McAllister: I'm surprised he doesn't just give it up and go for sweatpants. Akira: He says the crotch wears out too fast. McAllister: Yar! That's going to replace the whale in my nightmares
