DABF10: Blame It On Lisa 
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 28 Quotes
Homer: Now that's what I call a moon shot!
Bart: Dad, that line was in the cartoon.
Homer: I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
blame1.mp3
Homer: Boy, did you make a prank call to Brazil?
Bart: No sir, I didn't.
Homer: CHOKE ON YOUR LIES!
blame2.mp3
Marge: Ooh that's the Movie Phone guy!
Guy: The movie we've selected plays at 8pm at Springfield Cinema Six. Thankyou for dating Mr. Movie Phone. Our evening will be rated R for brief nudity.
blame3.mp3
Marge: We've met you m any times Miss Nagel, why do you keep changing jobs?
Lindsey: I'm a sexual predator.
blame4.mp3
Homer: We are not paying this bill.
Lindsey: Fine, I'll cut off your service.
Homer: Fine, I'll cut off your pony tail!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Marge, it's called negotiating.
blame5.mp3
Lenny: Homer, they were cleaning out a cooling duct at the plant and they found a box of old taco shells.
Homer: Oh, why didn't you call me?
Lenny: Oh, we tried. But a recording said you were a bunch of deadbeats.
blame6.mp3
:Homer tries to play with electricity and fails many times:
blame7.mp3
Lisa: What call to Brazil?
Homer: The one I didn't make and Marge didn't make and Bart didn't make and hence no-one in the house made.
blame8.mp3
Homer: Don't you know the boys from Brazil are little hitlers? I saw it in a movie! Whose name I can't remember!
blame9.mp3
Orphan: Hi Lisa. Thankyou for your generosity, I bought sturdy shoes which will last for a thousand samba's.
Marge: Oh he's so adorable. Can we have another baby?
Homer: No way, I still haven't lost the weight I put on from the last one.
blame10.mp3
Orphan: The orphanage was able to buy a door, now the monkeys cannot bite me. I am like sugar to them!
blame11.mp3
Bart: Well, we've got to find him! What? I'm really concerned. Fine, I want to meet monkeys.
blame12.mp3
Homer: Then it's settled. The Simpsons are going to Brazil.
Bart: Then I'll have been on every continent.
Lisa: Except Antarctica.
Homer: The Simpsons are going to Antarctica. Next year.
blame13.mp3
Homer: Wait wait wait, so in August it's cold?
Lisa: That's right.
Homer: And in February, it's hot?
Lisa: Mmhmm.
Homer: So it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies!
Lisa: No, dad, it's just the weather.
Homer: So hot snow falls up?
Lisa: :sighs: Yees.
blame14.mp3
Bart: Get ready, Brazil, I now speak fluent Spanish.
Marge: Well done, Bart. But in Brazil they speak Portuguese.
Bart: Aye Carumba :speaks Spanish:
blame15.mp3
Captain: This is your captain speaking. The local temperature in Rio De Janero is hot hot hot! With 100% chance of passion!
Man: You make that joke every time!
Captain: It was that joke that made you fall in love with me!
blame16.mp3
Homer: :singing: Take me to the ho-tel, my hands are on a guys-ass! Boy this dude must work-out!
blame17.mp3
Bart: Look, the room came with a fruit hat!
Homer: Hey, and a minibar hat!
Bart: :singing: I'm chaquita banana and I'm here to say..
Homer: I will eat this Toblerone and I will not pay!
blame18.mp3
Nun: Every day we light a candle for him.
Bart: Have you tried looking for him?
Nun: That's plan B.
blame19.mp3
Homer: :singing: I'm in Rio, and I'm walking on the beach, I'm in my Speedo. Hee hee hee.
blame20.mp3
Taxi Driver: My American friend, I'm afraid this is a kidnapping.
Homer: So that means I don't have to pay the fare.
Taxi Driver: I suppose..
Homer: Woohoo!
Taxi Driver: I'm afraid you don't appreciate the seriousness of the situation.
Homer: Fine. Take me but let the boy go.
Taxi Driver: I'm afraid he has already gone.
blame21.mp3
Homer: I have a bladder the size of a Brazil nut.
Taxi Driver: We just call them nuts here.
blame22.mp3
Policeman: So you want me to find your husband.
Marge: Yes.
Policeman: And you also want me to find a little boy.
Marge: That's right.
Policeman: I don't think there is a boy or a husband, I think you have a thing for me.
Man: Aaarghh. I've been shot!
Policeman: I'm flattered but I do not swing that way.
blame23.mp3
Moe: Moe's Tavern, home of the stinkiest rag in America.
Homer: Hey, Moe.
Moe: Oh, Homer I need fifty grand, don't ask me why.
Homer: No, no I need fifty grand.
Moe: I asked you first!
Homer: Fine, I'll send you fifty grand.
Moe: Thanks.
Homer: Hello, Flanders? I need a hundred grand.
Ned: Well, I don't really have that much but, if you need it that bad, you'll be in my prayers.
Homer: Go suck a bible.
blame24.mp3
Orphan: I tried to write, but I didn't know what state you lived in.
Lisa: It's a bit of a mystery, yes. But if you look at the clues, you can figure it out.
blame25.mp3
:tense music plays:
Lisa: We're supposed to bring the ransom money to the top of the mountain.
Marge: The tension is killing me!
Bart: How bout this :flicks switch to play swanky music:
Marge: Hmm, that's not tense enough, It's making light of the situation. :Bart flicks switch again and tense Simpsons theme plays: Yep, that's it. Just right.
blame26.mp3
Kidnapper 1: Look at all that pink and purple.
Kidnapper 2: Our money sure is gay.
blame27.mp3
Kidnapper 1: We should make these transfers in a safer place.
Kidnapper 2: It was Homers idea. You say no to that face.
blame28.mp3 |
