CABF22: The Parent Rap
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 31 Quotes
Homer: [sings a song on the radio]
Bart: Oh! Lets never miss the school bus again...
rap1.mp3 82kb
Wiggum: Hey Cora. I heard science is working on a donut that actually burns off calories. Uh.. how's that going?
Cora: What?
Wiggum: Ah never mind. Just refill this with jelly, will ya? Thanks, you're an angel.
Cora: What?
rap2.mp3 112kb
Bart: You there! Put your hands up!
Ned: Me? Okay...
Bart: Now, drop your pants!
Ned: But my hands are up!
Bart: Hula out of them!
Ned: Alright officer...
rap3.mp3 130kb
Wiggum: Hey, somebody's stealling my car!
Cora: What?
rap4.mp3 24kb
Wiggum: Alright you two are under arrest for joyriding. You have the right to remain um... silent? That doesn't sound right...
rap5.mp3 65kb
Homer: I love our court days.
Marge: It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore.
rap6.mp3 38kb
Judge: Grand theft auto!?
Bart: It was an accident, ma'am!
Judge: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
Homer: :angry: What did she say about cupcakes?
rap7.mp3 68kb
Homer: Um, your honour, I was chassing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol.
Judge: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars?
Homer: And a blue oyster medallion... cooool.
rap8.mp3 85kb
Police Woman: There we go. How's that?
Homer: It's a little tight!
Police Woman: Sir, you are not a size four.
Homer: I used to be! :cries:
rap9.mp3 86kb
Lisa: Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our new mailman.
Bill Clinton: Dang magazines!
rap10.mp3 57kb
Marge: Make sure your father takes his mood medication!
Homer: I'll medicate you! :gulp: Ho-ney!
rap11.mp3 45kb
Edna: Alright, now who can pick up the predicate in this sentence.
Homer: :screams in sleep:
Edna: What's wrong with him now, Bart?
Bart: Night terrors, ma'am.
Homer: Ah! Cobras!
rap12.mp3 76kb
Homer: Okay son. Concentrate! Shut out everything but the sound of my criticism.
rap13.mp3 40kb
Homer: That's my boy! C'mon hug me! :drops to floor and falls asleep: Ah! Cobras! Cobras! Aaah!
rap14.mp3 90kb
Homer: Say, is that our house!?
Bart: I don't think our house has a steeple.
Homer: Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes.
rap15.mp3 60kb
Homer: Really!? You like skateboards!?
Bart: Mmmhmm.
Homer: We're sure learning a lot about each other.
rap16.mp3 36kb
Homer: Hey! Knock it off! These pants cost six hundred dollars!
Moe: Really?
Homer: Yeah, they're Italian...
Moe: Alright :pulls out shotgun: Hand em over!
Homer: Moe.. what the?
Moe: Yeah, I rob now.
rap17.mp3 74kb
Marge: Well, you can tell she's never had kids. Look how high and firm her breasts are!
rap18.mp3 33kb
Lisa: He might even make the honour role. If dad can control his night terrors.
Homer: Well, that's a pretty big if, honey.
rap19.mp3 43kb
Bart: Come on dad, I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Homer: Oh I just got comfortable, use the bottle.
Marge: No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do!
Bart: Come on, Homer!
Homer: No!
Bart: Mom!
Marge: Uh, geez, Homer take him to the bathroom!
Homer: Fine, I don't even know why we have a bottle... Somebody tell me!
rap20.mp3 137kb
Marge: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we are not bad parents! And there isn't a tether in this world with enough fibre-optics that can tell me we are!
Judge: Hmmm...
Marge: She is such a butthole!
rap21.mp3 114kb
Lisa: Do you think its fair that you keep getting into trouble but mom and dad are being punished?
Bart: No, it's terrible.
Lisa: Well why don't you do something about it?
Bart: After wrestling.
rap22.mp3 73kb
Lisa: When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions?
Bart: Cuz I felt like it!
Lisa: You're not even listening!
Bart: I know you are, but what am I?
rap23.mp3 67kb
Wiggum: Today the Judge wants you to bend over so people can spank you from their cars. Ooh, here comes a car.
Sea Captain: Yarr! Ya scurvey dogs!
Comic Book Guy: Worst parents ever!
Nelson: Haha!
Wiggum: Hey! No extension cords!
rap24.mp3 119kb
Homer: You're right. It's time to stand up to that firm breasted judge.
rap25.mp3 27kb
Homer: Hey Marge! Surf's up!
rap26.mp3 15kb
Wiggum: Those two lone shoremen found love.
rap27.mp3 18kb
Judge: That quilt was made by my grandmother!
Homer: So... it.. cost you nothing.
Judge: :furious: Shut.. up!
rap28.mp3 67kb
Bart: Judge, may I say something?
Judge: Well, it is highly unorthadox. So no!
Bart: Please, your honour?
Judge: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me. When I was a little boy!
rap29.mp3 84kb
Lisa: :crying/proud: That's my brother
Snake: Um.. did she say she used to be a dude?
rap30.mp3 43kb
Marge: Alright, we got lucky that time. But I want everybody in this family to raise your hand and promise not to break the law for one full year!
Family: We promise!
:Homer breaks suddenly to avoid going through a red light:
Homer: Phew that was close.
Hans Moleman: Please.. drive.. off me.
rap31.mp3 136kb |
