3F18: 22 Short Films About Springfield
SEASON SEVEN :: 24 Quotes
Apu: Serving the customer is merriment enough for me. Thank you come again! You see.. most enjoyable!
Apu: Ooh ooh ooh, I love this song! Let us boogie. I am the Freakazoid, come on and wind me up!
Hans Moleman: You took four minutes of my life and I want them back. Oh I'd only waste them anyway.
Lisa: Mom, dad threw his beer can at the miracle grow guy on TV. Can I recycle it?
Marge: Why not.
Lisa: Waaah! Augh. There's gum in my hair! Mom! Someone threw gum in my hair!
Marge: Are you sure? Maybe it's just Shampoo, that washes right out.
Marge: The trick to getting out gum.. is peanut butter! There. Now that gum should lift right out. Hmmm..... maybe it needs a little Mayonnaise to get going. Okay, you go sit in the sun and let it melt in.
Mr Burns: Smithers? What's the meaning of this slacking off?
Smithers: Uh... there's a bee in my eye sir.
Mr Burns: And...
Smithers: Uh.. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to uh... die.
Mr Burns: But we're running out of forward momentum!
Smithers: Um.. perhaps you could pedal for just a little while sir?
Mr Burns: Quite impossible. I could try to bat him off if you like.
Smithers: Uh... really that's no... (bat). aaaaaaaaaugh.
Smithers: Help me!
Dr. Nick: Holy smokes! You need booze!
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody. Now, tell Dr. Nick where is the trouble.
Abe: I'm itchy! I've got ants in my pants! I'm discombobulated! Give me a culmative!
Dr. Nick: Slow down sir! You're going to give yourself skin failure!
Dr. Nick: All right! Free nose jobs for everybody. Ugh, you first!
Jasper: Give me a "Van Hefferin".
Moe: You owe me 70 billion dollars.
Moe: No wait wait wait, thats for the voyager spacecraft. Um.. your tabs 14 billion dollars.
Barney: Uh, alls I got is 2000 bucks.
Moe: Well that's halfway there.
[SONG]: Skinner with his crazy explanations, the superintendants gonna need his medication, when he hears Skinners lame exagerations there'll be trouble in town tonight! SEEEEYYMOOUR!!!
Skinner: What if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking. Hohohohoho! Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh.. now ooh. That isn't smoke, it's steam.. steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm. Steamed clams.
Skinner: I hope you're ready for mouth watering hamburgers!
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams?
Skinner: Oh no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers "steamed hams"?
Skinner: Yes. It's a regional dialogue.
Chalmers: Uh.. what region?
Skinner: Uuuh. Upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams".
Skinner: Oh not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: Uh I see. You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burgers.
Skinner: Hohohoho. No. Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipie.
Chalmers: For.. steamed hams.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
Lou: Y'know I went to the McDonalds in uh Shelbyville the other day.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonalds restaraunt. I never heard of it either but they have over 2000 locations in this State alone.
Eddie: Hmm. Must have sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing though? It's the little differences.
Lou: Well at McDonalds you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right, but, they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out.. well what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: A Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese, but... uh. Do they have 'Krusty Partially Gelagnated Non Dairy Gum Based Beverages'?
Lou: MmmHmm, they call them "Shakes".
Wiggum: Donuts, I got Donuts, I go.. hey I know you!
Ned Flanders: Howdy Reverend Lovejoy. Nice to see you there...on my lawn with... your dog.
Rev Lovejoy: We..uh oh oh bad dog, look at that, right on Ned's lawn, now how could you do such a thing? (whisper) Good boy don't stop now (end whisper), bad dog, I condemn you to hail!
Lisa: No, I've got gum in my hair.
Marge: Well, we've tried everything. Olive oil, lemon juice, tartare sauce, chocolate syrrup, gravy, baking fat, hammost and babba ganoosh.
Lisa: My scalp hurts from horse-fly bites.
Cletus: Hey, y'know what, I could call my mom while I'm up here. Hey ma! Get of the dang roof!
Milhouse: Can I use your bathroom?
Comic Book Guy: No you may not! The bathroom is for paying customers only. If you purchase an item you may use the bathroom.
Milhouse: Uuuh. Okay ummm. How bout that?
Comic Book Guy: That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. It is worth 150 dollars.
Milhouse: What can I get for 75 cents?
Comic Book Guy: Uuh. You may purchase this charming Hamburglar adventure. A child has already solved the jumble using crayon. The answer is fries.
Kirk: Uh Milhouse, what's going on? You said you just needed to use the bathroom, now I find you buying comics.
Comic Book Guy: Oh our transaction is completed, you may take the boy.
Kirk: Uuuh, can my son use your bathroom?
Milhouse: You've gotta say yeeeesss!
Herman: Okay, but be quick. And come back.
Kirk: Uuuh, so uh, n-nice store. Uuuh. When I was a kid this used to be a pet store. Ahah. Yeah. Right over there against that wall was the cutest little..
Herman: (loads gun) Get in the corner!
Milhouse: (walks in twirling weapon, hits Herman) Hey dad, can we get this? Please?
Hair-cutter: You keep squirming and there's going to be a little bald girl with no lollypop.
Frink: Ah, ah, uh, sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying. One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head (ending music starts) uh, no wait, please no, please I have a funny story to tell!