3F05: King Size Homer
SEASON SEVEN :: 14 Quotes
Homer: :Homer screams and panics, loudly:
Smithers: Boy, I've never seen a man so desparate to get out of five minutes of calisthenics!
Lenny: Yeah, every muscle in my body is getting a workout, especially my big fat mouth!
Homer: Yeah! Especially your big fat... oh wait.
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey... did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?
Homer: I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas, brake, honk. Gas, brake, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas gas!
Homer: To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Ctarl (ctrl), and PigUp (pgup). There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting.
Homer: :singing chirpily: Bart and Lisa have to go to school well I get to stay home, na na na na naaa na!
Lisa: I like school.
Homer: Well why don't you live in it, then?
Lisa: I would if I could.
Bart: [daydreaming] I wash myself with a rag on a stick!
Marge: That's it, thats the one, alright, send him on in.
Homer: Yes, honey?
Lisa: Uh..mm... mom just baked a cake...
Homer: [runs to kitchen] Huh?
Marge: Homer, we need to have a serious chat.
Homer: You dragged me all the way from work for that!
Homer: The mail! The mail is here... oooh!
[ this sound is perfect for your 'new mail notification' ]
Lisa: Dad, what are you doing down there?
Homer: Washing my fat guy hat, honey!
Man: I'm sorry sir, but our facilities are not equipped to suit your needs.
Homer: What are you talking about?
Man: Oh what I'm saying sir is that a man of your... carriage wouldn't possibly fit in our seats.
Homer: I could sit in the aisle!
Man: I'm afraid that would violate the fire code.
Guy: Hey fatty! I've got a movie for you! A Fridge Too Far!
Homer: I've gotta call the plant and warn them! :pushes buttons on phone:
Phone Announcer: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with the palm of your hand.. now.
Ralph: I heard your dad went into a restaraunt and ate everything in the restaraunt and they had to close the restaraunt!
Lisa: Hey, my dad may have gained a little weight, but he's not some food crazed maniac!
Homer: [drives past in Ice Cream Truck, sampling the ice creams] Oh that's Raspberry!
Bart: I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas!