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9F01: Homer The Heretic
SEASON FOUR :: 20 Quotes
Homer: I'm all naked and wet!
heretic1.mp3
Homer: I'm wizzing with the door open, and I love it!
heretic2.mp3

Radio: I hope you're someplace warm.
Homer: You bet your sweet...... ass!
heretic3.mp3
Song: Who wears short shorts?
Homer: I wear short shorts!
heretic4.mp3
Lady: You must be the three chyropractors I sent for, now start manipulating my spine.
Curly: Hey Moe, we don't know anything about manipulatin'
Moe: You heard the lady, grab her spine and get crackin.
Homer: Hehehe.. Moe is their leader.
heretic5.mp3
Announcer: We interrupt this public affairs program to bring you a football game.
heretic6.mp3
Lisa: Give it a little more gas. No that's too much. You know what I think would help?
Marge: WHAT? WHAT WOULD HELP!?
Lisa: ......nothing!
heretic7.mp3
Homer: I'm never going to church again!
Marge: Homer! Are you actually giving up your faith?
Homer: No! Nonononono. Well, yes.
heretic8.mp3
Homer: God Himself told me I should seek a new path.
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, really...
Homer: Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that was special because I usually dream about naked... Marge.
heretic9.mp3
Flanders Family: singing God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody. Rain came down, it started to get muddy, muddy. Get those animals, out of the arky-arky.
heretic10.mp3
Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
heretic11.mp3
Marge: I'm going to ask you one last time. Are you sure you wont come with us to church?
Announcer: Coming up next: make your own ladder!
Homer: Very sure.
heretic12.mp3
Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
heretic13.mp3
Homer: No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions you must have been out taking a whiz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, please pay for your services and get out and come again!
heretic14.mp3

Homer: Oh, the song. The song. :sings: When the fire starts to burn, There's a lesson you must learn. Something something, then you'll see: You'll avoid catastrophe! D'oh!
heretic15.mp3

Apu: You ducks are really trying my patience! But you're so cute!
heretic16.mp3

Homer: Flanders, you saved me! Why?
Ned: Heck! You'd'a done the same for me.
Homer: :thinks about Ned screaming for help, trapped in his house. Homer
lounges in his hammock chuckling:
That's right, old friend.
heretic17.mp3

Barney: What are these axes for?
Wiggum: I dunno, chopping stuff.
Barney: Gotcha :chops down the Simpsons mailbox:
Wiggum: That's some nice choppin'.
heretic18.mp3

Insurance Guy: Any valuables in the house?
Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars...
Insurance Guy: Sorry, this policy only covers actualy losses, not made-up stuff.
Homer: Well that's just great!
heretic19.mp3

Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and
neighbors when they came to your aid, be they Christian (Ned), Jew (Krusty), or ... miscellaneous (Apu).
Apu: Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: Aw, that's super.
heretic20.mp3

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