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8F20: Black Widower
SEASON THREE :: 12 Quotes
Papa Dinosaur: Would you turn off that Rock and Rock music?
Baby Dinosaur: Hey, don't have a Stegosaurus, man!
Lisa: These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on tv!
Homer: Look Maggie, they have a baby too!
widower1.mp3    111kb 

Selma: Enclosed is a photo of us on a bike. I forget which one I am.
widower2.mp3    27kb 

Sideshow Bob: Selma, would you mind if I did something bold and shocking in front of your family?
Selma: All right, but no tongues
Sideshow Bob: Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me?
Bart: Don't be a fool, Aunt Selma. That man is scum
Selma: Then call me Mrs. Scum
widower3.mp3    140kb
Hans Moleman: A, G, Q, 7
Selma: Close enough. May you drive safely, and find true love.
widower4.mp3    75kb
Homer: Ooh, appetizers!
Sideshow Bob: Well Homer, what should we serve?
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce, it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it aint ketchup.
widower5.mp3    121kb
Selma: What did I miss?
Patty: MacGuyver was wearing a tanktop!
Selma: Dang
Sideshow Bob: Well Selma, I thought I was the only man in your life?
Selma: Sit down and shut up!
widower6.mp3    61kb
Lisa: I could have been the flower girl, I wouldn't keep falling down, either!
Bart: Hey, they chose Maggie, okay?
Lisa: Yeah, well if you wanna go for cutesiness instead of competence, fine
widower7.mp3    92kb 
Marge: Krusty, say something funny!
Krusty: Uh, gee, a joke, uuh.. ah funny, okay, this guy walks into a bar, he takes out a tiny piano, and a twelve inch pianist, oh, no, wait, I can't tell that one!
widower8.mp3    103kb 
Chief Wiggum: If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number one cop in town? Now where did I put my gun? Oh yeah, I set it down when I got a piece of cake.
widower9.mp3    72kb 
Selma: And here's another breathtaking sight... my brand new hubby!
Sideshow Bob: I wanted a room with a fireplace you blasted monkey... Oh Selma dear... I was just chatting with my good friend... Dennis! Now, smile for the camera, there's a good lad!
widower10.mp3    126kb 
Bart: Aunt Selma has one hour to live!
Homer: Hey, down in front!
widower11.mp3    32kb 
Bart: Her only hopes were a clucky young boy and his slow-witted father.
Bart: Dad, when Aunt Selma lights up her cigarette at the end of MacGuyver, she'll be blown to kingdom come!
Homer: Come again?
Bart: After trying four times to explain to Homer, I explained it to mom and we were on our way.
widower12.mp3    115kb

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newz you can uze
we're allowed to have one. hur-hyuck
better than you
obscure reindeer reference that only i still get
picks tribute
don't mind if i do!
the springfield connection
it's a hell of a town!
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