8F05: Like Father, Like Clown
SEASON THREE :: 18 Quotes
Krusty: :Singing: We've had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fun, but now the time has come... to go. If this old clown was found dead in his bed tomorrow, I'd be in heaven, still doing this show.
Bart: Okay Milhouse, how many Krusty autographs should I put you down for?
Milhouse: Uh, a hundred.
Bart: Consider it done. :singing: You're walking along the street or you're at a party! Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig dig dig. This could be the start of something big!
Krusty: Ooh! Sex Chat! (dials)
Voice: You've reached the Party Line! In a moment, you'll be connected to a hot party, with some of the world's most beautiful women! Now, let's join the party!
Man 1: Hello?
Man 2: Hello?
Apu: Are there any women here?
Apu: Are you a beautiful woman?
Krusty: Do I sound like a beautiful woman?
Apu: This is not as hot a party as I anticipated.
Krusty: :reading: Deeee...deee.. dear. Kruuuust. Y?
Krusty: :knocks on door and laughs:
Homer: You think it's him?
Milhouse: Oh, Hi Bart. I was just in the neighborhood and wha? Krusty the Clown! What a surprise!
Bart: Milhouse. You can come in, and, drop the charade.
Krusty: The old days. My.... my father :bawls:
Homer: Hey Krusty, are you going to finish that meatloaf or what?
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Krusty: Milhouse, know any knock-knock jokes?
Milhouse: :cries: I wanna go home!
Bart: Goodnight Krusty, sorry about your dad!
Krusty: Don't worry about me. I'm a survivor. Hey did I leave my keys inside?
Krusty: Oh yeah, here they are.
Rabbi: Hello. Hello? Anybody there? What's this, I hear the phone ring, and suddenly there's nothing. I'm listening and there's no talking. Hello, mister, who are you? Why would they call if they don't want to talk to you?
Krusty: Didn't Itchy Junior look happy playing with his father? And didn't Scratchy Junior look happy playing with his dad until they got run over by a thresher?
Lovejoy: I do a radio call-in show with him every Sunday night!
Lisa: I didn't know that.
Lovejoy: Gee, uh, I mention it in my sermon every week.
Bart: Oh, oh, that radio show!
Lisa: Oh yeah! It's all the kids talk about on Monday at school.
Lovejoy: Oh, well, why dont you have a free t-shirt. You'll be the coolest kids in the playground!
Bart: Hehe we'llputemonlater -- now.
Bart: We came to talk to you about your son.
Rabbi: I have no son!
Bart: Oh great, we came all this way and it's the wrong guy.
Rabbi: I didn't mean that literally!
Rabbi: Hello? Anybody there? I hear breathing but I don't hear talking. What's going on here? Hello, mister? Hello, hello? Some people got nothing to do but call people and hang up. There's all kinds of mishegoyim in the world.
Lisa: Bart, we've been going about this all wrong. What's the one thing Rabbi's prize above everything else?
Bart: Those stupid hats?
Lisa: No, Bart! Knowlege!
Krusty: Boys and girls, I'd like to be serious for a moment if I may. Spotlight, please. I just wanted :spotlight moves away from Krusty: I just wan.. :spotlight moves away again: Come on guys, I'm not doing the spotlight bit.
Krusty: :Singing: Oh Mein Papa, to me he was so wonderful, Oh Mein Papa, to me he was so good, no one could be, so gentle and so loveable, Oh Mein Papa he always understood!
Moe: I've got something in my eye.
Barney: Here, take my hankey.