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GABF10: Don't Fear The Roofer
SEASON SIXTEEN :: 18 Quotes
Bart: I was gonna have my classmates over for a homework party, but now my refreshments are ruined. Goodbye college!
roofer1.mp3
Moe: It's a surprise party for Lenny thrown by his closest friends.
Homer: So what's Stephen Hawking doing here?
Hawking: I live here now. You're looking at the new owner of the Little Ceasers down the street. Pizza pizza, pizza pizza, pizza pizza, pizza pizza. Sorry that button sticks.
roofer2.mp3

Moe: Who wants ass frosting?
Hawking: No thanks, I'm on atkins.
roofer3.mp3
Ray: Look at the size of that nacho plate. I haven't seen this much melted cheese since I left my Billy Joel albums out in the sun!
Homer: Ahahahahahaha! The sun.
roofer4.mp3
Homer: Don't worry honey I found us a roofer last night, and you'll never guess where.
Marge: Knockers on Route 98
Homer: How did you know!
Marge: I'm psychic!
roofer5.mp3
Marge: We're gonna visit grampa, then we're gonna take the dog to the v e t. Then take Bart to get c i r c u m c i s e d.
Bart: Huh?
roofer6.mp3

Ray: Sorry man I gotta go. It says my kid attempted something. I hate the way these things cut off.
roofer7.mp3
Marge: You're not married to Ray.
Homer: If I was we'd have taller kids.
roofer8.mp3
Old Man: You know it's too bad, we've had that dog as long as I can remember.
Abe: What dog?
Old Man: Who the hell are you?
Abe: I wish I knew.
roofer9.mp3
Marge: Ray's not coming!
Homer: He is too, his truck's gonna come around the corner right.. now... right now, now, now, now..nnnnnow nnnnnnow!
roofer10.mp3
Lisa: Here's the clincher, Ray Magini is an anagram for imaginary.
Homer: Wow, my subconcious is a genius.
roofer11.mp3
Bart: When you're getting juiced can you hold my turtle. I wanna bring him back to life.
Homer: Oh, what did he die of.
Bart: I dunno, he was dead when I found him.
roofer12.mp3
Dr. Hibbert: Do you see anyone who isn't here?
Homer: No, just you Marge and Yogi Bear. Kidding!
Dr. Hibbert: Well I see your sense of humour isn't affected. That's a very bad sign.
roofer13.mp3
Homer: Real, not real, real, real.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh sorry Homer but recent historical evidence indicates that Robin Hood didn't actually exist.
roofer14.mp3

Dr. Hibbert: Well I'm not worried, you've already agreed not to sue me for anything.
Marge: When did I agree to that.
Dr. Hibbert: You did when I validated your parking.
Marge: You didn't validate my parking.
Dr. Hibbert: Check and mate.
roofer15.mp3

Hawking: I've been tracking a tear in the fabric of space time which combined with airborne pieces of metal at Builders Barn to create a miniature black hole. This anomaly interposed itself between Homer and Bart causing a gravitational lens which absorbed the light reflected from Ray the roofer.
Lisa: That seems... feasible.
roofer16.mp3
Marge: Wait there's still one thing that doesn't make sense. Why did you start fixing our roof and then just disappear.
Ray: That's easy, I'm a contractor.
Marge: That's right you're all crooks!
roofer17.mp3

Ray: So as I was saying Homer. Mondays 9:00 CBS. They say everybody loves that guy but I don't get it.
Homer: What are you talking about?
Ray: I'm just saying, catch it while you still can.
Homer: What time's this show on?
Ray: Monday 9:00 CBS
Homer: And what's the network?
Ray: CBS
Homer: At what time?
Ray: 9:00
Homer: And if I wanna watch it what day?
Ray: Monday. Monday 9:00
Homer: And this is on the radio?
Ray: No it's television Mondays at 9 on CBS
Homer: And if I wanna see it what time should I watch it?
Ray: 9:00
Homer: On what channel?
Ray: CBS.
Homer: What day?
Ray: Monday.
Homer: On the radio?
Ray: Television.
Homer: Turn the television to what channel?
Ray: CBS
Homer: At what time?
Ray: 9:00 on Monday.
Homer: Now If I wanted to see it on a certain day what would be the best day to see it?
Ray: It's only on a Monday.
Homer: And what time would be a good time..
Ray: 9:00, from 9 to 9:30.
Homer: So If I turn my radio on at 9:00?
Ray: Not the radio, television.
Homer: So it's Mondays at 9 on NBC?
Ray: CBS.
Homer: CBS.
Ray: 9:00
Homer: On the radio?
Ray: Television.
Homer: Television at 3:00.
Hawking: And we're done.
roofer18.mp3

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