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GABF01: Mommie Beerest
Bart: Thinner, thinner, thinner, thinner, too thin, better luck next time. Tommy, Virginia beach.

Moe: This is Frankie from the health department, we go way back. Lenny you don't have to hide that rat.
Moe: Oh my god he's dead.
Wiggum: Okay which one of you guys parked in front of the hydrant. Uh look I didn't see nothing here okay. Just a bunch of innocent guys sitting around, none of them dead. Buy yourselves a nice dinner.
Health Inspector: Mr. Syzlack your tavern is rife with healthcode violations.
Moe: You gotta be kidding me, like what?
Health Inspector: Well for starters the body of my predecessor is still on the floor.
Moe: Oh well you see trash day aint till Wednesday.
Barney: Sings "Oh Danny Boy"

Homer: Moe's: A Tribute. M is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. O is for the O in the middle of Moe's. E is for acceptance, the feeling I always got here at Moe's.
Homer: Put up my house. But I just paid it off. What would Marge say?
Moe: :as Marge: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homey.
Moe: Thanks Homer, no one's ever trusted me before. Except for that one guy who shouldn't have.
Homer: That was me.
Homer: You can't go with me to Moe's. I mean how would you like it if I came with you to your mother's.
Marge: I would like it. You never come to my mother's.
Homer: That's because I hate her!
Moe: One thing Moe Syzlack has never had is a partner. Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug, or eye contact. I'm just going to call the suicide hotline now.
Homer: But I don't want to take care of the kids. Um, how many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right? How many magic beans should i sell the baby for, three? Duuuh derrr dah, that's me, jerkass Homer.
Marge: This place is a diamond but it's trapped in the rough.
Moe: Yeah well the sign still says Moe's so enough of your guff.
Marge: Here's my new idea, to sell both beer and grub, we will turn this filthy dive into a proper old time British Pub.
Moe: A British whaa?
Bart/Lisa: Darts, and meat pies, and lager in pint glasses, what a classy way to get drunk off your asses.
Moe: Hey hold the fub, an English pub, that just might work.
Everyone: In song!
Moe: Oh my bar could be British instead of a pitish, so why don't we all - ah screw it, lets get renovating.
Moe: Marge sorry to call you so late but I had a great idea. Put cutesy signs outside the restrooms that say dukes and dames, instead of the ones we have now that say stand-ups and sit-downs.

Announcer: Coming this summer from Dreamworks. Cards! Fifty two jokers play the game of their lives.
Child: I don't want to be a three, I want to be a seven!
Guy: Shut up kid, you're as crazy as an eight, i'm telling you.
Announcer: With Eddie Murphy as the jack of clubs.
Eddie: You don't understand, officer. I thought that King was a Queen.
Announcer: This summer, the house is full, and the deuces are wild. In Cards.
Guy: Hey Jack, you got any twos.
Jack: You can't handle the twos!

Homer: Don't worry, they're just friends, there's nothing physical between them.
Marge: Homer. Can you hold my wedding ring for a second. My finger's itchy.
Homer: Uh oh, I'm going to have to work on my marriage. Or alternatively :eats popcorn:

Homer: Stop this ride!
Pimple Kid: You're the boss!
Kid: I want to go again, daddy. Daddy...!?

Marge: Moe, your upper lip is trembling.
Moe: Oh i'm just excited because they're showing an episode of Boy Meets World on this flight. Oh wait that's only on flights from Europe. We just get that little plane.

Moe: You don't deserve her. You know nothing about Marge. What's her favorite food.
Homer: Uh, ice?
Moe: Wrong, It's buttered noodles!

Marge: I love you. You're my Homey womey romey domey.
Homer: And you're my Margey wargy bargy fargy gargy Margy gargy targy largy.

Marge: You'd be quite a catch if you'd just shower and shave and stop swearing under your breath.
Moe: Oh thanks Marge. :mumbling: Know it all bitch.

Marge: Love. Love will keep us together.
Homer: Think of me, babe, whenever, Some sweet-talking guy in a thong, Hands you a bong, Don't take a hit, You just got to be strong
Marge: You better stop
Homer: Cause I want a sandwich
Marge: I said stop
Homer: Or maybe a manwich.

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