FABF15: Simple Simpson
SEASON FIFTEEN :: 22 Quotes
Announcer: Tonight, the shocking secret!
Host: Ladies, when you were selected, you were told that you'd be dating a billionaire on his private island. Well I'm afraid we mislead you. This isn't an island at all! It's a peninsula!
Farmer Billy: Well if you open up one of these here packages and find a golden ticket, you get a tour of Farmer Billy's Bacon Factory.
Announcer: Warning: Bacon factory may explode!
Apu: Okay, Farmer Billy's slow killed bacon, Farmer Billy's bacon fed bacon, Farmer Billys travel bacon. Mr Simpson if you really want to kill yourself I also sell hand guns.
Singer: This song is about a country I love, you may have heard of it, it's called America.
Homer: Hey I know that country!
Wiggum: One more assault Simpson and you're going down. Heh, I didn't know I could fit in a bubble, I must be losing weight!
Homer: What you doing sweetie?
Lisa: I'm drawing a picture of my newest hero. Pie Man.
Homer: Gee I thought I had a bigger package than that.
Homer: Somebody aught to take him down a peg, or should I say down a pie.
Lisa: No I think the expression is peg.
Homer: Maybe you're right Lisa, maybe you're pie.
Milhouse: Finally, a superhero that kids can love.
Nelson: What about fist face.
Milhouse: Fist face? Who's fist face? Why wont you tell me who fist face is. I demand you reveal the identity of fist face.
Nelson: It's you :punches him:
Marge: Ooh, I bet he's Ned Flanders!
Homer: Flanders!? He's not man enough to trim my crust, I mean, Pie Man's crust. Uh i'm not Pie Man.
Homer: This is for your show's slight decline in quality over the years!
Wiggum: Somedays you just don't wanna be a cop, you know. I'm gonna go turn the siren on, that always cheers me up. Hehehe haha hehe
Kent: That's good footage.
Homer: No trap could hold Homer Simpson! But I'm not Homer Simpson. I'm the Pie Man. Homer Simpson away! I mean, Pie Man.
Wiggum: Oh way to go Lou you hit him!
Lou: You sound like you're surprised.
Wiggum: I'm trying to give you positive re-enforecement, jerk!
Lou: That's positive, calling me a jerk?
Wiggum: You are a jerk!
Homer: Pie man is not your father, little girl! I ... murdered your father.
Lisa: Dad, it's obvious you're Pie Man, we've been getting his mail for weeks.
Homer: We shall continue this conversation in the pie cave.
Homer: Alright, I'll stop. What do I do with these pies?
Lisa: I know one thing you could do!
Homer: Hahah, I was in so deep I forgot pies were food.
Homer: I'll keep my promise, honey.
Mr. Burns: No looking at pictures of loved ones!
Homer: Lousy Burns bald headed :murmers:
Mr. Burns: No angry grumbling under your breath!
Pie: Throw me! I'm old and stale! I might just kill him. Ahahahahaaaa!
Cake: Don't do it Homer, you made a promise to Lisa!
Homer: Since when do I listen to cakes!
Mr. Burns: Simpson! You'll rue the day you took that pie tin, poked holes for eyes and attached a rubber band around the back.
Homer: It's not a rubber band it's a scrunchee!
Homer: Oh I can't do this in front of Lisa. Oh why does she have to believe in things!
Apu: Homer Simpson is the pie man? Impossible. He's never thrown away a pastry in his life.
Mel: His brain isn't large enough to juggle two contrasting personii.
Moe: Yeah and Homer's a dumbass. No offense Homer, you dumbass!
Marge: I know one person who believes you were the pie man, Homey. Me. I've known it all along.
Homer: Was it the kiss?
Marge: No it was clearly you in that suit. You'd have to be an idiot not to see it from the start!
Homer: Wherever injustice shows its ugly face, I will be there, for I am the Pie Man.
Bart: And wherever Pie Man is, the cupcake kid will not be far behind.
Marge: While you two are up on the roof, why don't you take the leaves out of the gutter?