FABF09: Smart And Smarter
SEASON FIFTEEN :: 24 Quotes
Dr. Hibbert: You know, Marge makes a good point. Competitive schools aren't for every baby.
Homer: Are you saying my daughter can't cut it just because I owe you 14 thousand dollars?
Kid: The pig says 'oink!' The chicken says..
Cowell: Look, stop right there, I could go any Chuck E Cheese in America and hear what animals say. You know what I say. I say "next!"
Kid: You're a poopy!
Cowell: You nurse with that mouth?
Cowell: And what's your name?
Cowell: I'm sorry, but why are you answering for her?
Marge: Maggie doesn't talk yet.
Cowell: Not a word?
Marge: Oh she says lots of words, like when she wants something, she says 'eh! eh! nyeh eh! eh!'
Cowell: Maggie, we're not a mime school. So we can't take a non-talker.
Homer: Oh Maggie will do just fine. She'll have plenty of money. Cause she'll marry a grocer.
Marge: But grocers don't make that much.
Homer: Who steals from the till, will you let me finish, geez!
Cowell: Well look who's back. Pippi Non-Talking.
Lisa: Just because Maggie can't talk doesn't mean she's dumb. Einstein didn't speak till he was three!
Marge: And even then he could only speak German.
Cowell: Well congratulations. You're now as intelligent as a pig. Let's see if you can move up to dolphin. How many people in your family. :Maggie holds up five fingers:
Homer: Woohoo! I got that one right too!
Cowell: Your baby is brilliant, why she already teach at Florida State.
Lisa: But my I.Q. is only 159! Maggie is more intelligent than me?
Cowell: That's right, because 167 is a bigger number than 159. Do you see how that works?
Lisa: Yes, thankyou.
Homer: So our kids keep getting smarter. If we have another one it could build a time machine which we could use to go back in time and not have any kids.
Marge: All our children are smart. Some of them are just smarter than the others.
Bart: Welcome to... the others!
Lisa: Hey, why do they call them field trips, we never go to a field.
Skinner: Oh untrue, last Thursday we visited a battle field.
Ralph: I'm bembarassed for you!
Nelson: The following haha is not from amusement but an expression of contempt. Ha ha!
Bart: When you're a baby you spend all day just rolling around on the floor. Boy, I miss that.
Nelson: Fine, roll around on the floor, baby! Floor baby! Floor baby!
Lisa: You're making fun of him for something you made him do.
Nelson: Yeah, well, you're gay.
Lisa: People who accuse others of being gay are often covering up their own latent homosexuality.
Nelson: Um eh... bullies rule!
Homer: The school sent this dealie over for Maggie. His name is Phonic Frog.
Frog: A B C. Ha-O-Me-Er.
Homer: Hehehe, that's me! Ha-O-Me-Er.
Frog: This is Ha-O-Me-Er's doctor. He's too sick to work today.
Homer: Hehe, I'll uh be right back.
Frog: I agree with your mother. You are a disappointment to Ha-O-Me-Er.
Marge: Lisa's gone, you have to find her.
Wiggum: Why can't you just accept that Lisa is old enough to take care of herself. Back off and let her live her life.
Marge: But she's only eight.
Wiggum: Oh, I thought you said eighty. We'll get right on it.
Lisa: I'm tired. I'm hungry. Red plastic sandals are not great running away shoes.
Wiggum: We found your daughter's belongings.
Marge: Where'd you find these?
Wiggum: Giant tongue.
Homer: I knew it!
Wiggum: We also discovered something very unusual at that museum.
Marge: Oh my god, what.
Wiggum: Well if you drop a feather and a bowling ball in a vacuum, they'll fall at the same rate. You think you've seen it all in this job and then something like that comes along.
Wiggum: You look around there while Eddie, Lou, and I go ask a few questions. Like how does a helicopter fly.
Lou: And what causes thunder.
Wiggum: I say it's angels bowling.
Lou: Yo, chief, we've got a problem here. I see a vase, but Eddie sees two people in profile.
Wiggum: Now this may shock you but you're both right.
Cowell: I'm afraid your daughter is no longer welcome at our school. She's as common as an angry woman in a knibson play.
Homer: Haha! Zing!
Woman: Here you're telling her the answer is no. Here the solution is a square. Here you're telling her the answer is California Condor.
Lisa: So Maggie's not a genius?
Cowell: She could be. At sweeping up hair.
Homer: That's my baby jerk! :hits Cowell:
Cowell: You call that a punch. I felt it, but it was like "So what?"
Homer: :hits Cowell:
Cowell: Again with the nose, I have a chin you know.
Simon Cowell Reading Over Credits:
Do we really need three of these people?
Too ethnic, change it.
More like CartWrong!
Worst voicing ever.
Finally a real celebrity.
Oh good, more producers, just what they need.
Him, I like.
Yes, but what's he done lately.
Very original Simon Cowell as Simon Cowell. Well done.
Really don't care anymore
Do credits really have to go this long.
Oh shoosh yourself!