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EABF18: My Mother, The Carjacker
SEASON FIFTEEN :: 28 Quotes
Homer: Yeah, she must have some kind of super-chore in there. Like getting the rat out of Maggie's room!
carjacker1.mp3
Kent: This week, one eagle-eyed viewer has spotted this hilarious headline. "Mayor unveils erection to cheering crowd"
carjacker2.mp3

Bart: Mom made the "Oops Patrol". Hot damn!
Homer: Bart, you're not at school, don't swear.
carjacker3.mp3
Homer: Honey this is your moment in the sun, and I couldn't be more pleased for your happiness. :bites fist: Why was I born!?
carjacker4.mp3
Homer: Okay, get ready to laugh! Cranford Man Missing! What's he missing? His pants, a train? Give me a break...... too soon huh?
carjacker5.mp3
Homer: Okay, Drought Threatens To Turn West Into Dessert! Yum yum! I think I'd like some whipped cream on my Wyoming!
Lisa: Dad. The word's desert, and those farmers are suffering!
Homer: From what? Too much hot fudge? Hah! Yeehee! Come on Bart show me some love.
Bart: Don't drag me down with you old man.
carjacker6.mp3
Homer: Peace Talks Break Down... ahahahahehehe, no. For Sale: Ford Festiva. Eh, I'll put that in the "maybes"
carjacker7.mp3
Homer: Marge, wake up, the newspaper's talking to me.
Marge: Oh relax I'm sure it's just your brain going crazy.
Homer: I wish!
carjacker8.mp3
Homer: Marge, I don't know what this is but sometimes you've just gotta go with your gut.
Marge: You always go with your gut. This time why don't you listen to your brain.
Homer: Alright I will! :brain reveals animal playing a ukelale: That's why I don't listen to my brain. And away we go!
carjacker9.mp3
Bart: Can't we go home? This overpass smells like urine.
Homer: They all do.
Bart: Fresh urine!
Homer: Hey, the bathroom's a block away.
carjacker10.mp3
Homer: I love you so much, but it's so hard for me to trust you! Oh what the heck, give me a hug you.
Mona: Homer, you're hugging a bum.
Homer: I know, I'm working my way up to you.
carjacker11.mp3
Homer: I think the Government has better things to do than read my mail.
Man: Most people write letters to movie stars. This Simpson guy writes to movies. Dead Die Hard: You rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. PS. Do you know Mad Max?
carjacker12.mp3
Eddie: Hey Chief, I think we've got a match.
Wiggum: Okay, but if you're wrong, you an Lou have to kiss each other.
Lou: Hey chief I checked with the union you can only do that once.
carjacker13.mp3
Wiggum: You guys are damn lucky. All you destroyed were bricks, morter, and attourneys.
Attourney: Remember me as a drain on society.
carjacker14.mp3

Kent: During her years on the lam, Simpson lead an exemplery life working as a crossing guard, oral historian, reader for the blind, listener for the deaf, and reacher for the short. Yet local villain Montgomery Burns seen here terrorising children in a ninteenth century wood-cut insists that she stand trial.
carjacker15.mp3

Homer: Now i'm not a man who's good with words................................ ........................................................................
Gil: You gotta say something, she's looking at twenty years, and my legal licence expires in 15 minutes.
carjacker16.mp3

Skinner: Mother..
Agnes: Go hug your floozie.
Skinner: Mother, she's right here.
Agnes: She knows I'm kidding. :quieter: I'm not kidding!
carjacker17.mp3

Homer: Woohoo! I can be a little boy again! A boy who gets some on the side.
carjacker18.mp3

Homer: Look mom, look! I'm riding by myself! :rides into traffic:
carjacker19.mp3

Mona: This really isn't necessary
Homer: You weren't around for the birth of your grandson and I want you to see it.
Bart: Waa waa waa, aint I cute, you owe me a dirt bike.
carjacker20.mp3

Moe: Mrs. Simpson, when you took off, you left a hole in Homer's heart that he's been trying to fill with alcohol for 20 years. God bless ya!
carjacker21.mp3

Marge: You stole this entire room from Ned Flanders' house.
Ned: Oh well, you snooze you lose. But um, can I have my photo albums back?
Homer: Now get out of my house!
carjacker22.mp3

Burns: Supplying false information on a national park register is a federal offense. Which you've committed at every national park, from Acadia to Zion, you're going away for a long time Mrs Simpson, or shall I call you Anita Bonghit.
carjacker23.mp3

Lisa: I say we hit them where they live. With a candlelight vigil.
Homer: Candlepin bowling? Thats a great idea. We'll play right after I break your grandmother out of prison.
carjacker24.mp3


Prisoner: I hope this bus ride never ends! Cuz I'm gettin' executed when I get off.
carjacker25.mp3

Homer: Take care, ladies. I'm sure you can make it back to the prison on your own.
Prisoners: We will.
Prisoner 1: You're alright, donut breath.
Prisoner 2: You're like the son I never killed.
carjacker26.mp3

Mona: Granny to the man, granny to the man.
Wiggum: This is "the man". I think it would be a gas if you turned that magic bus around and kept on truckin' to our pig pad.
carjacker27.mp3

Homer: I couldn't sleep because I thought there might be a sign of my mom in one of these articles. They never did find her body.
Bart: Then what was in the coffin.
Homer: Last week's garbage, I missed the pickup date.
carjacker28.mp3

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