EABF08: A Star Is Born-Again
SEASON FOURTEEN :: 30 Quotes
Marge: Hold your horses! I was up all night fishing out the drawstring from your father's swimsuit!
Homer: It came out again!
Ralph: I'm going to Africa! To see lions, and giraffe's, and monkey's, and santa, and gorillas, and..
Song: The "Jellyfish" song performed by the band at the Jellyfish festival.
Chief Wiggum: Sarah, you're as lovely as the day I first arrested you.
Sarah: Oh Clancey!
Chief: You know I planted that crystal just to meet you. I was so shy.
Ned: Well, Sea Captain, looks like you and I are sailing solo tonight.
Sea Captain: Arrrr, you hitting on me? Because I don't do that... on land.
Marge: Poor Ned, this is his first Jellyfish festival alone.
Homer: I know! And it doesn't get any easier from here. The tongue kissing festival, sincho de ocho, the hobo oscars. Days just made for lovers. Not widowers, lovers.
Sara Sloane: Do you have any left handed eyelash curlers?
Ned: Do I!? No... I don't. But I can have them here by Tuesdee
Sara: Are you for real?
Ned: I'm as real as the nose on your face!
Sara: Yeah.. real.
Ned: :singing: Yeah I've got a date with a girl with no name, it sure feels good to be back in the game, at dessert, maybe I can ask for her name, cause I can't, prey for her without the right name.
Ned: I've got a date with a movie star?
Cleaner: Sure you do. And I'm going apple picking with Scooby Doo.. toytoytoytoytoy.
Ned: I need your advice. It's about a lady.
Homer: Lemme guess... Skinner's mother!? She sure knows how to swing it.
Ned: Why would that twinkie want to go out with a ding-dong like me?
Homer: Flanders, I mix twinkie's and ding-dong's all the time. In Europe, they call it a Dinkie!
Lenny: Uh, excuse me, Ms. Sloane. My I have an autograph.
Lenny: Oh man this is going right on Ebay. I mean my wall! Which I'll then sell on Ebay.
Lenny: Oh, can I just push this plaster cast onto one of your boobs?
Sara: Okay, now you are the worst.
Ned: Rod says marco, and darnit if Todd doesn't say polo right back!
Bart: She's had more stars on her than Lisa's homework!
Homer: Who the hell is Mr. Flanders? Oh Flanders. :phone rings: Yellow! Yees, i'm Ned Flanders close personal friend. That's right, hot n' heavy. They've never been happier. Yes, she does look pregnant. Now who might you be? A tabloid? Is that one of those really strong mints? Hello? Hyellow?
Rod and Todd: :singing: Jesus is the rock that rolls my blues away, shooby dooby, yeah, shooby dooby!
Sara: You guys are jammin!
Rod: Daddy, she swore!
Cletus: Your carpeted floor feels good on my toes.
Ned: I haven't felt this good since we stole the 2000 election.
Homer: Hey don't blame me, I voted for the green M&M.
Sara: Sorry, I've found someone nice who doesn't talk like a freak!
James L. Brooks: Ned, I'm James L. Brooks
Ned: Oh, can I call you Jim?
James: James L. Brooks is good. How 'bout some sponge cake.
Ned: Well, I can't see the harm.
James: With a brandy glaze! :laughs evily:
James: Or perhaps you'd like to go to a football game.
James: We don't have a team!
Ned: Forgive my language but... I'm one happy camper!
Otto: Dude, what's it like kissing a movie star?
Comic Book Guy: What's it like kissing a woman?
Apu: Sir, would you ask your sweetheart to sign her autograph for me?
Ned: Well, of course.. Wait a minute, this is to adopt two of your kids!
Apu: Oh, so it is. I've already dumped three on Mia Farrow. Sucker.
Marge: Now lets go around the room and analyze why we didn't read it.
Agnes: All my friends are dead.
Helen: Well then, I guess it's time for margaritas.
Sara: Well, I wish someone had read the book since I did invite the author, Helen Fielding.
Helen: Oh never mind, as long as they all bought the book, I'll still get the money. Besides, most Americans can't understand the sophisticated subtlety of British humor. I bid you good day :exits the room in Benny Hill style:
Ned: Sweetie, that's not the kind of dress you wear outdoors. Or indoors. Or in a dirty dream.
Ned: This is quite a dill-diddly-emma. Better talk this over with the big man.. Homer. Sara wants us to have s e x!
Homer: Stupid Flanders, I'm not giving you any of my secret moves.
Reporter: Screen siren Sara Sloane shocked tinsel town last night with a midnight marriage to Gossford Park megahunk, Bob Balaban. This was followed three hours later by a quickee divorve.
Ned: I bet we would have lasted twice that long.