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DABF11: Weekend At Burnsies
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 31 Quotes
Marge: Alright, family. Who can guess what's different about dinner tonight?
Homer: Eh? Same old garbage!
Bart: Ahahahaha, this guy's always on!
burnsies1.mp3    52kb 
Marge: We're eating genetically modified vegetables! Look how big they are!
Homer: This corn doesn't look so big..
Marge: That's baby corn!
Homer: :stunned: Mwhaaaat!?
burnsies2.mp3    51kb 

Marge: Go away go away
-Ned Flanders and his boys are kneeling down in front of Marge's cross base for her scarecrow, saying prayers. She tells them to go away but they return seconds later-
burnsies3.mp3    59kb
Marge: Yeah, I did it! Marge is in the house. Well I will be soon, cuz it needs some cleaning!
burnsies4.mp3    29kb
Moe: Right, get them out of here, this aint no crow bar! This.. is a crow bar :places a painting on the bench: See, they got the little stools and.. everything.
burnsies5.mp3    43kb
Homer: It's a murder, honey. A group of crows is called a murder.
burnsies6.mp3    28kb
Homer: Ow! I hate getting stitches in my eyes!
burnsies7.mp3    15kb 
Dr. Hibbert: They weren't trying to blind you they were just trying to drink your sweet sweet eye juices.
Homer: Hmm, fascinating.
burnsies8.mp3    28kb 
Marge: It's smoke!
Lisa: It smells like the art teachers office...
burnsies9.mp3    24kb 
Marge: Hello..
Homer: Marge, I just realized I'm the "ow" in the word low. And if you tell anyone..
Marge: Honey I like it when you call but we just talked five minutes ago, hang on I've got call waiting... Hello?
Homer: Hey, it's me. I've got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming me out.
burnsies10.mp3    114kb 
Bart: Dad, I thought you didn't like her saxophone.
Homer: I didn't but now daddy's special medicine, which you must never use because it will ruin your life, lets daddy hear and see magical things which you will never experience, EVER!
burnsies11.mp3    72kb 
Homer: Wow, that Saxophone would make a great pipe.
burnsies12.mp3    16kb
Ned: Hi-diddly hey Homer.
Homer: Oh my god this dude does the best Flanders! You got the moustache, and the diddly. Okay, now do Wiggum.
Ned: Heheh, Homer it's me, Ned.
burnsies13.mp3    69kb 
Homer: Hey, I've got a question for you. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it.
Ned: Well sure of course, he could, but then again... wow as melon scratchers go, that's a honey doodle.
Homer: Now you know what I've been going through.
burnsies14.mp3    81kb 

Homer: Wow.... wow... God does so much for me and he doesn't ask for anything in return.
Ned: Well I know he's wishing you'd sign this petition. To recriminalize medicinal marijuana.
Homer: Done and done. Now do Wiggum!
Ned: Well, okay I guess it would go something like this.... :puts on identical Wiggum voice: A'ight Simpson, you're under arrest, see...
Homer: :unimpressed: I said Wiggum!
burnsies15.mp3    100kb 

Homer:Oops, I thought this was the can, man. Hahahahahahah.
Mr. Burns: Well, you're a happy Homer. What's your name, young man?
Homer: You just said it! Ahahahahahahahahaha..
Mr. Burns: Hehehe, well if you like that, listen to this. Working hard, or hardly working?
Homer: Ahahahahahahahaheheh!
burnsies16.mp3    88kb 

Homer: You're covered with a very fine fuzz.
burnsies17.mp3    14kb 

Homer: Heheheheh hardly working.
Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Woah woah one question at a time. Yes, you?
burnsies18.mp3    45kb 

Homer: I just got promoted and it's all thanks to yes-I-cannibus. :gasp: WE HAVE A KITCHEN!?
burnsies19.mp3    33kb 

Otto: Hey, Shemp is "hemp" spelled backwards!
Homer: And Otto is..... Otto backwards!
Otto: Now I'm scared!
burnsies20.mp3    48kb 

Marge: Goodnight Homer.
Otto: Dude, your mom is hot!
burnsies21.mp3    20kb 

Phish: Woah, this guy is seriously ill..
Hans Moleman: My doctor never told me that... I had to hear it from Phish.
burnsies22.mp3    37kb 

Phish:And now a man who's a real pothead (read poetheed) I'm sorry.. pot head... Homer Simpson!
burnsies23.mp3    41kb 

Otto: Well what are we gonna do?
Homer: Well we can't just stand here staring at our hands... Although... wow!
Otto: Oh, that's right. I married that chick.
-hours pass-
Otto: They call them fingers but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go.
burnsies24.mp3    89kb
 

Homer: Oh, I could have smoked that pot... and worn that hair!
burnsies25.mp3    22kb 

Lisa:I want my old dad back, the one that was yelling all the time and... you know, I'm not really sure what I want.
burnsies26.mp3    34kb 

Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, could you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?
Homer: NEVER!
burnsies27.mp3    24kb 

Otto: Yeah, I can still crash here, right?
Homer: Get out.
Otto: Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing?
Homer: Oh yeah.. ehehehe... Get out.
burnsies28.mp3    72kb 

Lenny: We were gonna have an intervention.
Carl: But at the planning party, I got alcohol poisoning. Heh, I nearly died.
Moe: I was already makign excuses not to go to your funeral.
burnsies29.mp3    64kb 

Homer:It's been three days and my mind is clearer, my sperm count is up, and I'm able to recognize simple shapes and patterns.
Lisa: Dad, you just said that three minutes ago.
burnsies30.mp3    54kb 

Marge:You don't need Mary Jane to laugh at Mr. Burns' jokes. Just picture him naked.
Homer: AAH! AAH! AAH!
Marge: Or ummmm with a funny hat on!
Homer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
burnsies31.mp3    65kb 

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