DABF05: Jaws Wired Shut
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 22 Quotes
Group: :chanting: We're here, we're queer, get used to it!
Lisa: You do this every year, we are used to it.
Guy: Spoil sport!
Smithers: We're gay, we're glad..
Patty or Selma: But don't tell mom and dad!
Homer: Oh look at those abs. Everyone here has a six pack and I'm the only one with a keg.
Guy: Oh god! Cover up!
Lisa: Why is this movie PG-13?
Marge: It may contain brief rudeness, adult explosions, and scenes with Gary Shanley.
Announcer: Ed O'Niel is.... Soccer Mummy!
Kid: Go soccer mummy! You told me to believe in myself!
Blond Girl: :excited and laughing:
Soccer Mummy: Mmmmmm!
Guy: Uh oh, the professor said not to let him get a boner!
:bandages are heard tearing:
Homer: Hahahahahaha! I'm laughin, but it's a laugh of impatience! Show the movie!
Homer: So many previews, so many previews, so many previews...
Announcer: And now.. our feature presentation
Announcer: If that's a phrase you like to hear, then you'll love MovieCall!
Homer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHH. START THE MOVIE!
Quimby: And so for helping to K.O. litter in our community, I hereby dedicate this statue of Drederick Tatum.
Tatum: Litter is my most treacherous fault. I would like to eat his children.
Homer: :in pain: My mouth... my beautiful mouth.
Tatum: Excellent bout. Now we go party.
Dr. Hibbert: He wont be able to talk for quite some time. I've wired his jaws shut. It's all explained in this pamphlet.
Marge: :reading: So your life is ruined. Hmmmm.
Bart: Milhouse, you ready to imitate that "Jackass" show?
Milhouse: All those disclaimers make me want to do it more!
Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!
Duffman: What beverage brewed since ancient times is made from Hops and Grains?
Lenny: How about "Ancient Hop Grain Juice"?
Homer: :trying to say "Beer": Brr! Brr! Brr!
Moe: Wait wait wait, Homer's trying to make a guess...
Homer: Brr Brr Brr! :turns on beer tap to get picture across:
Moe: What are you doing? You're getting some kind of booze all over me.
Homer: Gdd Godddd! :cries:
Duffman: Time's up, the answer is... Beer! Ooh, duff luck!
Carl: I never would have figured that out.
Lenny: That's the kinda thing you just gotta know.
Lisa: We were playing four square, and I called no double taps, and Ralph double tapped, and I said "you're out" and he says :imitating Ralph: "I can do a somersault!" which has nothing to do with anything!
Bart: So the substitute teacher comes in and says her name is Mrs. Doody. And everyone's looking at me like "take it, Bart, run with it!". And it hits me. I've become a clown... a class clown... and it sickens me!
Homer: :talking in head: Wow, Bart has feelings. Haha, Mrs. Doody!
Marge: This has been one of the most magical evenings of my life.
Homer: I'M HOR-NY!
Marge: I don't know what you said, but I'm sure it was beautiful.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, Homer. Drop by my office tomorrow and I can remove those jaw wires. You'll be just the way you used to be. And Reverend! I'll put in those pec implants on Thursday..
Rev. Lovejoy: Super.
Dr. Hibbert: Eeew, Homer. Your breath smells terrible! I'll have to take off my shoes to cover the odor.
Homer: You'll be surprised how much you hear if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Really? Lets try it..
Moe: Hello, yeah I'd like to arrange for an escort, please. To where? How about Orgasmville! Ye.... Hello? Hello!?
Host: Our next topic: My son still wets the bed.
Milhouse: You told me we were going to Red Lobster!
Cletus: I caught a head! Aw dang, it's been scooped out!
Homer: Quit banging my wife!
Announcer: A man on a donkey! Never in my six weeks on the job have I seen the likes of this!
Bart: He saved her! Isn't it great to have the old dad back!
Lisa: I thought you liked the new dad?