DABF01: Brawl In The Family
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 24 Quotes
Kent: And Smokey the Bear is now Choppy the Lumberjack.
Protester: These trees are our national heritage!
:bear with chainsaw hits him away:
Nelson: :to owl: Stop endangering yourself! Stop endangering yourself!
Skinner: Good lord, acid rain!
Willy: :singing: I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, what a glorious feelin'. Aaah! AAAH! It burns like a glisco bikini wax! AAAAH!
Marge: Why don't we play Monopoly!
Lisa: Which version? We've got Star Wars Monopoly, RastaMonopoly, Galipolopoly, EdnaKrabopoly?
Marge: Lets stick to original Monopoly.
Bart: You're a little light here, dad.
Homer: I'm good for the rest, you know I am!
Bart: Well I'd like to trust you, Homer but you've been in jail three times.
Homer: They told me it would be like this on the outside.
Wiggum: Hello? It sounds like a domestic disturbance. Alright we'll be right back, and don't try anything because Johansen there is a snitch.
Lou: Another case of Monopoly related violence, chief.
Wiggum: How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?
Robot: I am Brenda. I am programmed to talk in a calm and constructive manner. DESTROY! DESTROY!
Bart: Hey this is taffy!
Homer: Police brutality :takes a bite: and chew-tality!
Wiggum: Nice work, Brenda. I'll take it from here.
Robot: No way. This is my collar. :wiggum turns robot off:
Wiggum: Heh. Too bad real women don't come with these, huh?
Homer: Hehehe, you got that right.
Wiggum: Quiet you. That counts as your phone call.
Lisa: Thanks a lot everybody, now I'll never get into an Ivy League school!
Bart: You're going so Stanford, you're going to Stanford! Homer: You're going to Stanford!
Lisa: Take it back! Take it back!
Homer: No! You are an angel. Like Denzel Washington in "The Preachers Wife" or Will Smith in "Bagger Vance", or Slimer in "Ghostbusters"
Milhouse: How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata!
Homer: :drunk: Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him!
Homer: :talking softly: Here's how it's gonna go down. As a family we drive away. We cover for each other, as a family. It's what Gabrielle would have wanted.
Lisa: Look, we can't fall into old patterns, we've gotta think of a plan.
Homer: :talking softly: Okay, but talk like this.
Lisa: :talking softly: Fine, I'll take like this..
Family: :singing: We are family!
Bart: Our bitter fights are now history!
Family: We are family!
Homer: Wolves and Cougars ate our roast beef!
Marge: You know, we've been through some 280 adventures together, but our bond has never been stronger!
Lisa: Could this be the end of our series..... of events?
Ginger: Hey stud, where do you keep your wet ones? I need a shower!
Ned: Oh we've got a real shower, upstairs!
Ginger: Upstairs!? I hit the jackpot!
Homer: But I'm going to come back with the greatest gift a husband can give his wife. An annulment from his secret wife!
Homer: :gasp: Oooh... oh yeah! Oh that's good. Oh don't stop, oh yeah! Faster! Faster! Faster! FASTER! Oooh you do that like a pro!
Marge: Oh no! She's making him a sandwich!
Homer: Use both hands!
Ginger: Where's my cigarettes?
Rod: We flushed your sin sticks down to hell!
Todd: Smokers are jokers!
Rod/Todd: Smokers are jokers!
Ginger: I think I'm gonna throw up!
Ned: Who wants to hold mommy's hair?!
Amber: You know.. I bet you and me could be friends. I could show you how to put on makeup!
Lisa: I'm eight years old!
Amber: You could look seven! And I could teach you to count cards!
Bart: Nah, I already got a system.
Homer: Ah, the sweet couple of seconds before I remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn.
Homer: Marge? You're speaking to me!?
Marge: Why don't you come inside and we'll talk?
Homer: About what? Sports? Bigamy?
Homer: Not a sports fan, huh?