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CABF20: Homer The Moe
Lisa: Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew is getting flat.
Marge: That's odd! He's outside digging!
Homer: Probably digging for drugs..
Marge: There's no drugs out there..
Homer: No of.. course not.
moe1.mp3    74kb 

Lisa: What are you doing?
Bart: Digging..
Lisa: Why?
Bart: To make a hole.
Lisa: A hole for what?
Bart: More digging..
moe2.mp3    60kb 

Homer: Oh! Hello young man. Beautiful day for digging, isn't it?
Bart: Yep.
Homer: Yeah uh... digging for anything in particular?
Bart: Nuh uh..
Homer: So I guess you wouldn't mind if I was to dig a hole of my own?
Bart: Go for it.
Homer: Maybe I will.
Bart: What's stopping you?
Homer: Very little.
moe3.mp3    168kb
Moe: That is the stupidest story I've ever heard, and I've read the entire Sweet Valley High series.
moe4.mp3    34kb
Homer: Geez Moe, you've been a real crank lately.
Moe: :aims gun at Homer: You take that back!
moe5.mp3    28kb
Homer: You're always pointing that shotgun at us.
Lenny: And calling us dumbasses.
Carl: Which we are so not.
moe6.mp3    40kb
Carl: Gee uh, when you talk about that school your voice fills with uuh.. what do you call it, human feeling.
Lenny: Yeah maybe you should um.. what's the expression? Go back there!
Moe: What's the word I'm searching for uummm... Yeah!
moe7.mp3    114kb 
Homer: Mmyellow!
Bart: Uh, yeah I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger, first name Ollie.
Homer: Oh Bart! My first prank call, what do I do?
Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
Homer: I don't get it.
Bart: Yell out O'll-Eat-A-Booger.
Homer: What's the gag?
moe8.mp3    111kb 
Professor: Describe your tavern in one word.
Moe: Uuhh, is crap hole one word?
Professor: Yes, if it's hyphenated.
Moe: Then I'll stick with crap-hole.
moe9.mp3    60kb 
Professor: I'm dying Moe.
Moe: Is there anything I can do?
Professor: No. Unless you have a cure for cancer. Do you.. have a cure for cancer? Because that would be great!
Moe: I'm sorry professor.
Professor: Goodbye Moe
Moe: Bye professor...
moe10.mp3    124kb 
Moe: Hey, don't you wanna take your shoes off before you go swimming? Professor? :realizing professor is killing himself: Uh.. oh... um.... hmm.
moe11.mp3    89kb 
Formico: I am Formico, the Dean of design.
Homer: Hi Formico!
Formico: Uh uh uh, my name must never be spoken.
Homer: Sorry. :to Moe: He seems nice!
moe12.mp3    59kb
Cecil: Oi oi! Is your name on the list?
Homer: Don't you know who I am?
Moe: It's okay Cecil. They're V.I.P's
Homer: Cecil is a girl's name.
moe13.mp3    60kb 
Russian Woman: After Chernobyl, my penis is falling off.
Moe: And "penis" is Russian for?
moe14.mp3    43kb 

Russian Woman: All this yelling is taking away my horny.
moe15.mp3    20kb 

Lisa: This is pretty far to go just to spite Moe!
Homer: It's not about spite! It's about petty revenge, and getting back at that traitor Moe!
moe16.mp3    67kb 

Song: I wont drink at Moe's. Homer's old garage is all I need. I wont drink at Moe's, cuz he's a big jerk and a she-male too.
moe17.mp3    68kb 

Lisa: Can we go to bed now?
Homer: As soon as you finish cutting up those Lemon's.
Lisa: But you're not even using them!
Homer: She's so sweepy, she doesn't know what she's saying. Heehee.
moe18.mp3    83kb 

Homer: :singing It's The End Of The World As We Know It: Leonoid whatsis name. Herman Munster Motorcade. Birthday party Cheetos. Pogo sticks and Lemonade. You symbiotic stupid jerk, that's right Flanders, I am talking about you!
Lenny: How'd you get REM to play in your garage?
Homer: I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rainforest!
moe19.mp3    157kb 

Peter: Michael, no!
Mike: That's not the REM way.
Michael: You're right. Lets recycle those shards and get out of here.
moe20.mp3    42kb 

Moe: Listen, I don't like you and you don't like me. But we both wanna stop Homer from shooting the turkey.
Lisa: You don't like me? I like you!
Moe: You do? Then I like you too! Here have a towelette.
moe21.mp3    72kb 

Moe: You wanna signal me, use this bird call :whistles, a bird attacks his face: Ow ow! Not the face! :bird moves to his crotch: Ooh! Okay the face! Oh that actually feels good after the crotch!
moe22.mp3    100kb 

Homer: A cougar! Die cougar! :shoots:
Moe: Ow! My leg! Ow... geez!
Homer: Got that cat right in the leg.
moe23.mp3    67kb 

Lisa: And we should all be thankful to Michael, Peter and Mike for supplying this beautiful turkey.. made entirely out of tofu.
Bart: I'm thankful I ate before I came.
Michael: Oh come on Bart. Smell those curds. Mmmm.. curds!
moe24.mp3    119kb

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