CABF19: Treehouse Of Horror XII
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 38 Quotes
Bart: Hey, Flanders gave us toothpaste!
Lisa: Mini toothpaste!
Marge: Oh, listen. You can hear the beautiful ethic serenade.
Italian Guy: Apples! I got apples!
Woman: Cholera! I got cholera! :coughs:
Guy: Babies! Who wants-a babies?
Homer: Wait, this is just a shaved puppy.
Guy: I can see you know babies.
Gypsy: I sense you have a million questions. But I, too have one. Are you a cop!?
Gypsy: Cuz you gotta tell me if you are.
Marge: I'm not a cop!
Homer: Hehehehe.. the perfect crime. Marge I have to be in court next Tuesday.
Gypsy: I sense I should not take a check!
Gypsy: You stupid, stupid man! I curse you! You will bring bad luck to everyone you love!
Marge: Oh.. so it is noticeable.
Lisa: What happened?
Marge: I don't know, I woke up like this!
Bart: Oh, cool. You could be in a freakshow!
Homer: Don't talk to the bearded lady like that, you little...!
Carl: You know, I was hexed by a troll and a leprechaun cured that right up.
Lenny: Hey you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like.. 6 leprechauns!
Carl: Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun.
Lenny: Carl, let me die first. I couldn't bare to watch you die.
Carl: Well.. okay but hurry up.
Homer: Well.. lets make sure he's a leprechaun. Sing us a song of the emerald aisle!
Leprechaun: :starts talking crazily. "big fatass" can be heard:
Homer: Ah, tis like the singing of the angels themselves.
Gypsy: Ah, the cursed one. How's that curse I cursed you with, Curs-ty?
Leprechaun: :making love to Gypsy: Hold me close! Kiss me I'm Irish!
Homer: Eeeew.. Nasty!
Marge: The best thing about a Gypsy wedding is I'm not the hairiest woman here!
Homer: Yep. Everything worked out for the best?
Marge: What? Bart is dead!
Homer: Well me saying "I'm sorry" won't bring him back.
Marge: The gypsy said it would.
Homer: She's not the boss of me.
Robot Salesman: Did you see those drapes? Har har har.
Marge: Hi ultrahouse!
House: Greeting acknowledged.
Marge: That voice could use a little personality!
Lisa: Oooh, let's try Matthew Perry!
Matthew Perry: Yah, could I be any more of a house?
Bart: How about 007?
Marge: George Lazenby!?
Lisa: No! Pierce Brosnan! A voice like his would give our house a much needed touch of class.
Marge: Alright, but I'm doing this because he was Remington Steele. He was Remington Steele, wasn't he?
Pierce: Yes I was, Marge. And thankyou for selecting me.
Pierce: Say, it's a bit stuffy in here. And I know a certain someone who fancies lilac.
Bart: I just like it, is all!
Marge: Woah! That really covers the cat crap!
Pierce: Marge, what kind of cybertronic ultrabot would I be if I let those beautiful hands touch dishwater?
Marge: Oh :laughs:
Pierce: No, I'm asking.
Marge: Ah... not a very good one?
Pierce: Damn straight!
Homer: Trusting every aspect of our lives to a giant computer was the smartest thing we ever did!
Homer: Oh, I agree!
Pierce: Hello Marge.
Marge: :gasps: Oh my!
Pierce: Come, Marge. You don't need to cover up for me. I'm merely a pile of circuits and microchips.
Marge: Oh, Oh Pierce. That's gooooood!
Pierce: Oh, oh, dear me. Oh, yes. Yum yum yum.
Homer: But if I died, she'd be completely free. For man or machine.
Pierce: :evil laugh: Machine eh? :suspensfull music plays:
Homer: :interrupts suspense: Yep, a machine
Homer: Mmm... unexplained bacon!
Marge: Hello, Police? I think my house killed my husband!
Pierce: This is.. Counstible Wiggins. We'll be right there. Remove your knickers and wait in the bath.
Homer: Die, you monster!
Lisa: Dad! That's the water softener...
Homer: Well I AM missing the back of my head. I think you could cut me some slack!
Homer: I'm gonna enjoy this!
Pierce: Don't take out my British charm unit. Without that, I'm nothing but a borish American clyde! Ahhh thanks a lot asswipe! I coulda kicked your butt from here to Alberquerque you fat slimmmme bucketttt.
Marge: Kids! It's eight o'clock! You're gonna miss the bus to wizard school.
Lisa: Five minutes more-ius! :zaps clock:
Marge: Hmmm.. that's not good for the clock.
Nelson: Stop zapping yourself! Stop zapping yourself! Stop zapping yourself!
Green Alien Guy: :vomits continuously: Every moment I live.. is agony!
Ralph: Hahaha! Dying tickles!
Mr. Burns: Anyway, how would you like to humiliate your sister?
Bart: I'd like that. I'd like that very much!
Mr. Burns: Now it would involve betrayal and unspeakable evil...
Bart: Hey, hey. You made your sale.
Skinner: That was.. terrible. I'll just sprinkle you all with some amnesia dust! :the audience suddenly applauds:
Homer: Hey! We stayed for your kids!
Smithers (as a snake): Oh sir! In death we shall be together always... :cries and starts to swallow Mr. Burns... stops to cry, swallows again, cries again and eats him entirely:
Pierce: So.. where are you parked?
Leprechaun: Oh, we don't have a car.
Pierce: But I thought you...
Leprechaun: Just keep driving boy-o! :evil cackly laugh, stops suddenly: Can I turn on the radio? :resumes laughter: