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CABF02: The Computer Wore Menace Shoes
SEASON TWELVE :: 16 Quotes
Homer: How about that one!?
Computer Salesman: Mmhmm... The technology is three months old. Only suckers buy out of date machines. You're not a sucker, are you sir?
Homer: Heavens, no!
Computer Salesman: Oh good, because if you were I'd have to ask you to leave the store.
computer1.mp3    78kb 

Homer: OW! Argh. Ooh. Stupid pothole! Don't worry head, the computer will do our thinking now!
computer2.mp3    58kb 

Homer: Now then... computer.. kill Flanders!
Ned: Did I hear my name? My ears are burning!
Homer: :whispering to mouse: That's a good start, now finish the job!
Ned: Oh, you're busy. Catch you later, compu-tator!
Homer: Oh, five thousand dollars for a computer and it can't even handle a simple assignment!
computer3.mp3    109kb
Chief Wiggum: You have chosen 'no', meaning you have committed a crime, but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home. While you wait, why not buy a police cap or t-shirt? You have the right to remain fabulous!
computer4.mp3    97kb
Homer: Get out, who told you that?
Bart: Nelson!
Homer: Hmm, that's the kind of dirt that belongs on my web page.
Lisa: You can't post that on the internet, you don't even know if it's true!
Homer: Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey. Nelson is gold!
Bart: You know, it might have been Jimbo..
Homer: Beautiful, we have confirmation.
computer5.mp3    128kb
Agnes: Seymour! Are you looking at naked ladies?
Seymour: No, mother!
Agnes: You sissy!
computer6.mp3    44kb
Kent Brockman: A new internet watchdog is creating a stir in Springfield. Mr. X, if that is his real name, has come up with a sensational scoop.
Homer: Darn tootin'
Kent Brockman: But we must never forget that the real news is on local TV, delivered by real officially lisenced newsmen like me, Kent Brockman. Coming up, how DO they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials? Cowboy Steve will tell you!
computer7.mp3    140kb 
Guy: This morning Mr. X reported that your own apartment..
Chief Wiggum: I know, I know, but I assure you, the police do not take prisoners out of their cells and raise them... any more?
Guy: What about using the electric chair to cook chicken?
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, alright, this press conference is over. It's over, Phil! It's OVER!
computer8.mp3    106kb 
Carl: I wish Mr. X were here!
Homer: Oh, I don't know Carl, he might be closer than you think!
Carl: Are you him? Are you Mr. X?
Homer: No!
Carl: Ah, but you talked in that real sly voice. Hey, hey, everybody! Homer is Mr. X!
Homer: I am not! Or am I?
Lenny: Are you?
Homer: No!
computer9.mp3    109kb 
Moe: If Mr. X were here right now, I'd buy him a tall frosty!
Homer: Hey Moe, can you keep a secret?
Moe: No.
Homer: Not even a little one?
Moe: No.
Homer: What if I just whisper it?
Moe: No, I tells ya!
computer10.mp3    63kb 
Homer: :singing: I've been sitting on the toilet, all the live long day!
computer11.mp3    51kb 
Flanders: They're controlling our mind with flu shots, I knew it. Well kids, now are you glad we don't believe in inoculations?
Rod/Todd: :shivering: Y..yaay.
computer12.mp3    70kb
Number 6: Welcome friend, I'm number 6.
Number 15: I'm number 15. What number are you?
Homer: I am not a number! I am a man! And don't you eve... oh wait, I'm number 5. Haha. In your face, number 6!
Number 6: Myeees... Well done.
computer13.mp3    121kb
Leader: As far as your family know, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door right about now.
Homer: I'm sorry, what?
-clip cuts to the Simpson house, 'Homer' walks in the door-
Marge: Homey!
Fake Homer: Marge, honey flarline, I'm home!
Marge: You're not my husband!
Fake Homer: Ya, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaraunt then have a night of efficient German sex.
computer14.mp3    170kb
Bart: There's something very different about you dad!
Fake Homer: I am a new tie wearing!
Bart: Oh yeah.
computer15.mp3    41kb
Homer: Huh! That was easy!
Island Leader: Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?
Lady: Shut up! That's why!
computer16.mp3    53kb

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