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BABF11: Missionary: Impossible
SEASON ELEVEN :: 18 Quotes
Homer: :discussing british tv: If they're not having a go with the bird, they're having a rowl with a wanker.
mission1.mp3    39kb 

PBS Guy: Not hard to see why it's Englands longest running series, and today, we're showing all seven episodes.
mission2.mp3    35kb 

Betty White: If you like great PBS programs like "Do Shut Up" and "Shut Your Gob" you'll want to support our pledge drive. If you watch even one second of PBS and don't contribute, you're a theif, a common theif!
PBS Guy: Okay, take it easy, Betty.
Betty: Sorry, but these theives make me so mad. You know who you are.... thieves!
Homer: You're mad, where's my show!?
mission3.mp3    168kb
PBS Guy: And now it's time to go back to "Do Shut Up".
Homer: Finally..
PBS Guy: But first!
Homer: Ooow!
PBS Guy: With your donation you'll receive this classic PBS tote bag.
Betty: Or this umbrella, featuring a picture of our classic tote bag.
PBS Guy: And the next 20 callers will get this album of Museum noises!
mission4.mp3    140kb
Homer: Will cash be okay?
Betty: Absolutely.
Homer: Well then, we've got a problem. The banks are closed by now.
Betty: It's 12:15.
Homer: Maybe your movie star banks are opened crazy hours, but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast, and our banks closed....... okay, fine, we'll go down there, but they're not going to be opened!
-people are walking in and out of the bank, Homer peers through the window-
Homer: Yeah, it's a real ghost town in there.
Guy: Ahahah... get in there!
mission5.mp3    177kb
Oscar The Grouch: Give us the money!
Elmo: Elmo knows where you live!
mission6.mp3    26kb
Homer: I'm no missionary, I don't even believe in Jeebus! Let me out!
Guy: Sorry! No can do!
Homer: Oh! Save me Jeebus!
mission7.mp3    89kb 
Bart: He's dead, isn't he?
Rev. Lovejoy: No, no, you can even keep in touch with him on this ham radio!
Jeebus!? Where are you? Homer to Jeebus?
mission8.mp3    75kb 
Homer: You're leaving! Wait! What do I do here!
Amy: First of all, forget everything you learned in Missionary school.
Homer: Done.
mission9.mp3    48kb 
Ak: We look forward to learning about the bible from you.
Homer: Here you go, knock yourself out.
Q'Toktok: We cannot read..
Homer: Ugh. Does the word "jet lag" mean anything to you people? JET... LAG!
mission10.mp3    78kb 
Homer: :hears rumbling: What was that?
Q'Toktok: We call that.. bleukuckukukukugugog. Sorry, fish bone in my throat. We call that "Earthquake"
mission11.mp3    76kb 
Homer: So.. what do you do for fun around here?
Q'Toktok: Craig and Amy were digging a well.
Ak: Craig and Amy were also building a Chapel.
Homer: Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy! Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy.
Q'Toktok: I told you we should have asked them!
mission12.mp3    102kb
Homer: So, how's the TV reception here, excellent, or?
Q'Toktok: T....V?
Homer: You don't have TV? But what will I watch when I'm sitting on the couch?
Ak: Cou-ch?
Homer: No couches either? Oh man, I need a beer!
Q'Toktok: :gives Ak a confused look:
mission13.mp3    151kb 
Marge: Homer, are you alright?
Homer: I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.
Marge: You've only been gone two days!
Homer: Really? Without TV it's hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.
mission14.mp3    65kb 

Homer: Now, if The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that Pelicans can be used to mix cement. Come on little friend, make a wise crack! You know... "it's a living!" that sort of thing! :pelican falls over: Oopsie.
mission15.mp3    92kb 

Homer: Friends, when I came here one month ago.. this seemed like a strange and frightening place. But now I've learned to love this island as my second... A PLANE! STOP! GET ME OFF THIS STINKING ROCK!
mission16.mp3    88kb 

Q'Toktok: Your alcohol and inexpensive buffets have corrupted us. I don't even like macaroni salad... but look at me! :eats and eats and eats:
mission17.mp3    80kb 

Q'Toktok: How many times must we go to church to avoid hell?
Ak: Every Sunday for the rest of our lives.
Q'Toktok: Ahehehehe. No, really.
mission18.mp3    51kb 

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obscure reindeer reference that only i still get
picks tribute
don't mind if i do!
the springfield connection
it's a hell of a town!
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