BABF02: Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder
SEASON ELEVEN :: 14 Quotes
Marge: I can't get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you try ...
Homer: Oh, I'm twenty-six hours late for work -- no time for Maggie. Ooh, Where's Waldo? No, no -- this would be a lot easier without all these people. Nope, no [gasps] It's him! No.
Homer: Waldo, where are you?
Wiggum: All right, smart guy, where's the fire?
Homer: Over there.
Wiggum: Okay, you just bought yourself a 317: Pointing out police stupidity. Or is that a 314? No, no, 314 is a dog, uh, in, no, is that a 315? You're in trouble, pal.
Homer: Oh this is the worst day ever.
Lenny: Hey Homer, what gives?
Homer: Mr. Burns is making me eat all these drums of toxic waste!
Carl: Geez, that's rough. There must be 2 to 300 gallons in here.
Lenny: And even a teaspoon could cause a fatal tumor.
Homer: The coolant tank just blew and they're taking Lenny to the hospital.
Marge: Oh, no, not Lenny -- not Lenny!
Homer: Yes, I'm going to have to work late instead of seeing you and the kids, which is what I really want.
Marge: Okay, sure. Kids, turn off the TV. I have some bad news about Lenny.
Bart/Lisa: Not Lenny!
Lenny: Check out the overhead scoreboard!
:scoreboard reads 'POO' and 'ASS' instead of Lenny and Carl:
Carl: :laughs: Poo! Uh, Homer. What wacky name do you want?
Homer: Are 'poo' and 'ass' taken?
Homer: Damn, could my life get any worse?
Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row. You've got a perfect game going.
Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny; you'll jinx him.
Lenny: Oh, right, sorry.
Miss! Miss! Sorry, I was calling the waitress. [to waitress] Ah, this split you sold me is making me choke.
Lenny: What? I paid 7.10 for this split.
Lisa: Hey! There was no accident at the plant. Dad just
wanted to go bowling.
Marge: He shouldn't have deceived me, but I'm just so
relieved Lenny's okay.
Homer: Thankyou! Thankyou! But there was someone else with me on that alley. I'm talking about the big man!.... Carl!
Homer: Any questions? Yes, Bart's weird friend.
Milhouse: Will you be my Dad?
Homer: You've got a father. He's just a dud. Next question. Yes, the girl Bart has a crush on.
Homer: Hey, I thought you never talked.
Teller: Uh, I didn't mean to. It just slipped out. Oh, God, now Penn's going to beat me.
Penn: Folks, it's all part of the act!
Teller: No it isn't! Don't leave me alone with him!
Penn: You've ruined the act! I'm going to kill you!
Teller: He'll do it! I'm not the first Teller.
Homer: I can't believe it, Moe. The greatest feat of my life is already forgotten.
Moe: Geez, Homer, I never seen you so depressed. As your life partner, I'm very worried.
Homer: Save your tears, Moe. Save 'em in a shot glass for someone who still has a shred of hope.
Moe: A shred of what? I'm sorry, I was counting the cocktail radishes. Now, where was I? Two ... three, three radishes. Three big radishes.
Hans Moleman: There is no escape from the fortress of the moles! Oh except that.
Ron Howard: Really? You have children? Aw, well look, here's some money.
Homer: No. I don't want your pity or your money.
Ron Howard: Usually when you say that, you give the money back.
Homer: I do what, now?
Ron Howard: Yoink!
Hibbert: Although you do seem to have swallowed a number of shark eggs.
Homer: Actually, that was before I went in the ocean.
Hibbert: Well, I don't want to pry into your personal life..
Homer: Then don't.