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5F21: Wizard Of Evergreen Terrace
SEASON TEN :: 22 Quotes
Bill: Our topless story, President Clinton has launched a new website.
Marty: Uh-oh, wait, lemme guess. www. <wolf whistle> . <boing> (laughs)
Homer: Hehehehehe.
wizard1.mp3    102kb

Bill: Doctors say the life expectancy of the average man is now 76.2 years.
Homer: (gasps, slams on brakes) 76.2? But I'm already 38.1. I've wasted half my life.
wizard2.mp3    104kb 

Homer: Marge! I've wasted half my life!
Lady: Sir, do you need a tow truck?
Homer: What are you talking about Marge, I dont need any.... (crash). Okay, send the truck.
wizard3.mp3    70kb
Ned: No, Homer wasn't a great man, nor even an addequite man. And he certainly never accomplished anything. President Lenny, do you have anything to say?
Lenny: Nah!
Ned: Alright fair enough, toss him in the hole boys.
Bird 1: There goes a real sack of crap!
Bird 2: Indubitibly old chum!
wizard4.mp3    143kb
Homer: Do you know how many memories I have? Three! Standing in line for a movie, having a key made, and sitting here talking to you. 38 years and that's all I have to show for it.
Marge: You're 39!
wizard5.mp3    83kb
Marge/Bart/Lisa/Abe: Surprise!!
Homer: Oh I see you're having a party, I'll come back later.
Bart: You can't come back later, because..
Marge/Bart/Lisa/Abe: Homer Simpson! Welcome to your life!
Abe: ..ome to your life
wizard6.mp3    88kb
Abe: Finish Him, Finish Him!
wizard7.mp3    14kb 
Kit: Hello Homer it's me Kit from TV's Night Rider. Your family has asked me to take time out from my busy schedule to invite you to a veeerrrry speeeeccciiiialllll lllll.....
Homer: Stupid movies! Who invented these things anyway? Was it you Bart?
wizard8.mp3    137kb 
Homer: No one man can do all that, you're a liar, honey, A dirty rotten liar.
Abe: Finish her! Finish her!
Lisa: It's true! I read it on a placemat at a restaraunt.
Homer: Really? A restaraunt? Well now I dont know what to believe.
wizard9.mp3    93kb 
Bart: Dad what are you doing here?
Homer: Reading about this Edison character. They wont let me in the big people library down town. There was some.. unpleasantless I can never go back.
wizard10.mp3    64kb
Homer: And these hearty boys books are great too! This one's about smugglers.
Bart: They're all about smugglers.
Homer: No, not this one: "The Smugglers Of Pirate Cove", it's about pirates.
wizard11.mp3    59kb 
School Librarian: 'Scuse me! Are you a student at this school?
Homer: I think it's pretty obvious that I am... Go School!
wizard12.mp3    54kb 
Homer: From this day forward, I am an inventor!
Guy: Do us a favour, invent yourself some underpants!
wizard13.mp3    48kb 
Lisa: Um... Automatic....
Bart: Butt.
Lisa: Flourescent...
Bart: Booger!
Homer: Wait a minute, these aren't exciting new products!
wizard14.mp3    88kb 
Frink: Uh, all you have to do is think of things that people need, but which don't exist yet.
Homer: You mean like an electric blanket mobile?
Frink: Uh, well... possibleh... or, you could take something that already exists, and find a new use for it. Like..
Homer: Hamburger earmuffs!
Frink: Uh I suppose that would qualify.
wizard15.mp3    136kb
Frink: Alright, just stay calm, Frinky, these babies will be in the stores while he's still grabbling with the pickle matrix. Hoy-glum-ley-lummmm.
wizard16.mp3    61kb 
Homer: Now, here's my everythings okay alarm! <beep> This will sound <beep> every three seconds <beep> unless something isn't okay. <beep>
Marge: Turn it off, Homer! <beep>
Homer: It can't be turned off. <beep> <sick beep> But it uuh.. does break easily.
wizard17.mp3    141kb 
Homer: Ah DAMMIT!
Bart: Hey dad, heard you swearing, mind if I join in? Crap! Boobs! Crap!
wizard18.mp3    38kb 
Bart: But I thought you loved edison!
Ah the hell with him!
Bart: Yeah, Hell damn fart!
wizard19.mp3    40kb 
Bart: Alright! The museum's still open!
Guy: (to son) Why don't you like Edison that much <punch>
wizard20.mp3    38kb 
Tourguy: Hey folks do you like riddles? Oookay then. How many geniuses does it take to invent a lightbulb? Just one... Thomas Edison.
Crowd: (Laughs and Applauds him) It's true too, funny and true.
wizard21.mp3    135kb
Homer: Look, son! Edison was just like me?
Bart: You mean the wild mood swings?
Homer: No! We both lived another mans shadow!
wizard22.mp3    69kb

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